Andyroo's musings on inclusivity, exclusivity and life ...

A fairly momentous 2011!

2011-12-12T14:42:00.000Z

It's been absolute ages since my last post, so I thought I'd upload my Christmas mailout for friends abroad ...

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A very merry Christmas to all!

Even with the advent of social media, the round-robin is still the best way to update a large number of friends at once. And so, here is your round-robin letter … with apologies for long silences [& a not-so-gentle reminder that post flows in the other direction, too … ahem ;) ].
2011 has been a bit of a whirlwind year, but certainly a year that - despite being exhausting and trying - has brought much joy and many blessings. I’ll try summarise as best I can in a small note:

Travel - this year I’ve been especially lucky/blessed/fortunate with travel, and have taken a number of trips …

Last Christmas was spent on an 11 day cruise around the Canaries & Madeira with my brother (A trip I was given for acting as ship’s Chaplain); followed by a quick trip to Narita (Tokyo) at New Year’s. In February, Mike & I returned to Madeira and spent a relaxing week in a beach resort on the South of the island. In May I accompanied Mike on a short break to Chicago, followed by a wonderful California break in June, doing a road trip that took in San Francisco, Yosemite National Park, the Pacific Coast Highway and Los Angeles. In July we had a short city break in New York, catching up over brunch with Lee-Anne for the first time in nearly 20 years and meeting her husband, Rob. In August we had a short city break in Washington DC. Most recently, in November we had a lovely 5 days in Marrakech (THE trip! more later). And finally, over Christmas, we’re going to be in Cape Town very briefly, and will catch up with my brother over Christmas dinner, and we’re hoping to get in another short trip over New Year’s before I return to work, and have already got Amsterdam booked for February.

We have been very fortunate this year, and hope it continues! ;)

Family - This year has been fairly momentous with family, as well. We heard just last month that my mom’s Indefinite Leave to Remain in the UK has finally come through, so she can now live here with Dad without the stress of wondering if she’ll have to return to SA. Mom and Dad are settled in their council flat in Southampton, and are as well as age will permit, but it is good to see them independent, safe and receiving healthcare.

Work - The university has felt extremely busy this year, with a lot of demands on our time. These have ranged from Chaplaincy events to crisis & suicide interventions and other university events. In addition, I’ve been asked to be the Diocesan Interfaith Advisor, which is a tremendous honour, and I’m also on the National Executive for the Chaplains in Higher Education Liaison Group, another honour. So, a good, but very demanding year so far (our academic year only finishes in June - although we don’t get academic holidays, we work all year).

Love - Back to THAT trip to Marrakech. Mike had been planning to surprise me for ages, by popping THE question in a hot air balloon over the Morocco countryside. I suspected nothing, even though our friend Sue ( http://www.somethingxtraspecial.co.uk/ ) made the rings and managed to measure my finger while we were catching up over coffee. We nearly didn’t do the flight, as the weather was foul, but it cleared up at the last minute, and we were go. Mike forgot that he was petrified of heights, though, but was as gorgeous as ever as he clung white-knuckled to the basket with one hand and fished the ring box out with the other hand.

He had planned to say all sorts of things, but simply managed, “I think we should get married,” through clenched teeth.

So there you have it … All those years ago, sat on the floor of my garden flat in 3rd Avenue in Walmer, singing along to Mariah Carey, who would have thought that I’d be living in the UK, in love with a wonderful man and be planning a big ol’ pink wedding. Isn’t life grand? Isn’t God grand?

We’re acutely aware that there are plenty of obstacles in the Church, of which I’ve already encountered many, and there will be plenty in the Church who will frown at our love, and who will want to make my life difficult all over again … but we have each other, and we are fortunate to be able to gather around us friends who support and include us.

I think that brings you all up to speed. I still think of you all often, and would love to hear back from you.

Much love to you and your families
Andy

Gay Liberation Theology

2011-03-28T19:50:00.001+01:00

It's been a while since I posted a link about any sort of Gay Liberation Theology. Is there even such a thing as "Gay Liberation Theology"? Some would probably say no, and that it's "Queer politics", while others would probably say yes.

Anyway ... whatever it's called, I think it may be possible to get activism fatigue ... you seem to try for so long to get people to accept you as a whole person (rather than a "broken image" of the person they think you should be) and the longer you try, the more people you encounter that demand again that you justify your right to "be" ... you just get tired of saying the same things over and over again.

Sometimes, it's easier to ignore them and just go on living life. But then, I guess, that only encourages them to ignore you and go on living in their own bubbles.

So here's another open and honest testimony I found online today ... happy reading ... http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/03/27/presbyterian_minister_changes_mind_about_gays

Living in an apple orchard ... talk about #Hivemind

2010-09-03T23:31:00.000+01:00

A friend asked today whether I would recommend the Apple iPhone or not. Here is my response (toned down a bit for the web).

I can't bear the Apple iPhone. Oversold.

Their technology is kinda clever, their designs are tactile and - mostly - user-friendly. But I don't understand why you spend a fortune designing and marketing a product that costs a fortune to buy, and you go and bloody-well give it Bluetooth, but leave it unable to connect to anything except another iPhone. Nada ... not even a headset. Not a PC. Not another manufacturer's phone. Nothing. AND why do you have to have iTunes installed to be able to do anything with the phone on your PC (which you have to connect with a cable, because - oh yes - it can't blooming bluetooth with it!)?

And while I'm at it ... what's with NOT supplying a manual with the phones? Is it meant to be an evolutionary miracle that, like animals, we actually all know what to do with the wretched things - if we just release our inner instincts? I know that's false, because I've had to help out a few new iPhone customers with their unwise purchases, when they haven't understood how it works and don't have the balls to recognise that that's a product flaw - NOT a quirky attraction. FOOLS!

Don't even get me started on the fact that the new iPhone is so clever, they've hidden the antenna right on the spot your hand goes over when you hold the phone to make a call. So, the iPhone can't actually - erm - phone. Nice. Considering paying a fortune for an iPod that takes a simcard? Hahahahaha!

So ... nope ... I guess you could say that I'm not that keen on the overpriced, over marketed, oversold, overly presumptuous, self-important, under-performing, priced-like-PC-performs-like-a-Walkman iPhone.

A sign of confusion

2010-09-03T22:37:00.002+01:00

Ok ... so I have a dilemma. I got asked to dismount my bicycle a few weeks ago, as I was in a 'No cycling' zone, which I thought was a cycling zone. When I tried to discuss the lack of logic in the signage with the PCSO's, they got quite hostile and effectively told me that 'rules is rules' and that the matter wasn't open for debate (don't you love it when people try to exert power, rather than enter into sensible discussion?).

Am I the only one struggling with the logic behind the signage? Allow me to illustrate ... this sign was spotted at Southsea Pier. It's clear, and I understand it.

The sign forbids dogs on the beach and has a red circle, with a dog inside it, with a red diagonal line through the dog. It's message is clear ... a picture of a dog with a line through it = no dogs.

However, with my next photograph, the water gets a bit muddy. The sign has a bicycle inside a red circle. Following the same logic that was used for the above sign, there's no line through it, so that SHOULD mean that bicycles are permitted, as there's no line through it.

When I attempted to discuss this discrepancy with the PCSO, I was told that it was inside a red circle and that that clearly meant that cycling was prohibited, and that I should know that.

So, using the same logic, I guess the following sign states that doing 20 mph is prohibited. Doesn't it?

You can see my dilemma. On one sign, the diagonal line means something is banned, on another, the red border means something is banned, while on still another sign, the red border does not mean something is banned.

It's all clear as mud. If you were thinking the confusion stopped there, try this one on for size ...

So, we have two cycle lanes, with clear images of bicycles painted on the road surface. However, then there's a sign of a bicycle with a red border facing the cycle lanes, too? So, it's a cycle lane where cycling is prohibited?

Congratulations, Portsmouth, on managing to communicate confusing and contradictory messages using internationally recognised symbols meant to make communication clearer.

Officials iSimples iPhone App! | Compare the Meerkat

2010-06-04T13:17:00.000+01:00

OMG ... isn't this the most amazing thing?! Now all I need is an iphone ... too bad I don't want one. This app would almost be enough to convert me! ;)

Officials iSimples iPhone App! Compare the Meerkat

Another epistle about being both gay and Christian ...

2010-04-30T15:49:00.001+01:00

This is another email to my friend about being gay and Christian and trying to reconcile the two ...

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Thanks for your honesty and your reply. Sorry it's taken me a while.

I respect your view ... it was one I tried to live by for a long time, but it was self-destructive. I tried to do what your friend is currently doing ... it left me so deep in depression, because I couldn't change who I was and I believed therefore that who I was was an abhorration to God and that would never be able to change. It was a bit of a rough place to be believing that my salvation had been removed from me because I couldn't become someone that God would approve of, and yet I didn't want to live because life was desperately lonely. [As I mentioned in my other note, caught between the hell I was living with and the hell I thought I was inevitably going to.]

I suppose I should also add that the ex-Gay "ministries" that originated in the States have been discredited by medical boards and governments in the West as misleading, misguided and extremely harmful. Several of their spokespeople and directors have either left them or been caught soliciting sex in public places, because they craved companionship but couldn't pursue it openly, and were therefore reduced to the risky and emotionally harmful act of trying to secretly have anonymous sex with strangers, and then return to their 'wonderful and healed lives'. Consider the apology from some of the former leaders of such movements at http://www.beyondexgay.com/article/apology
Take a look at the story of Randolph Baxter on the website of Courage UK , who used to be part of an ex-Gay ministry and is now part of an ex-ex-Gay ministry. ;o) http://www.courage.org.uk/testimonies/Baxter.shtml Look at their 'Basis of faith'.

The ex-gay ministries still have their fans, and some of those are politicians, and some of the programmes are extremely powerful, but they are largely discredited in the West. Those programmes are now trying to market themselves to developing markets and Africa, in the hopes that they'll be able to develop their agenda there. So, in addition to being discredited and harmful, I often wonder if it's a power agenda, rather than a faith one, using a very credible-sounding faith façade for their own purposes.

I don't agree with a purely fundamental reading of Scripture, as it's a vibrant and adapting document that remains relevant to all cultures but cannot be enforced in it's original context without mercy because - after all - it communicates a loving and merciful God. But, I am prepared to say that - as much as I believe my reading of the verses to be correct, the fundamentalists believe theirs to be correct - and they're not trying to be hurtful, they're only trying to be true to what they believe is right. I often wish they would have the same respect for my views.

In my mind, rather than thinking of it as absolute in it's current English translation, I think it depends on the reading and the translation. There are a few verses (I think 6 in total) that speak against homosexuality, but the difficulty is in context and translation. The Greek and Hebrew words that were translated into 'homosexual' could mean several things, including 'promiscuous', 'people who use power to obtain sex' or even 'idol worship'. The difficulty in some of the cases is that the original word is used so rarely that it's difficult to find a confident translation. But someone settled on homosexual and since then, evangelical Christians the world over have used it to judge gays, lesbians, bi's and transgendered people, and even advocated hate crimes (and more recently, not speaking out against human rights violations, such as the Ugandan Government's new law which punishes gay men with the death penalty if discovered - or even if outed by someone else, that evidence is sufficient to sentence them to death, but the evangelical churches are silent on the issue).

Of course, in the past, evangelicals have also supported racism, slavery and misogyny ... all of which is now acknowledged to be hugely incorrect ... but homophobia is still popular in faith.

It's a very difficult and painful issue for a lot of people, and to be honest, influences a lot of evangelical Christians, and there is a lot of power play and a lot of money being poured into supporting Christians and churches that follow their lead in enforcing the judgement and/or expulsion of gays.

They will hide behind 'we love gays, we just don't love what they do', and say that gay people are ok, as long as they're celibate and lonely, but they're operating under the severely erred belief that gay and lesbian people are actually straight people CHOOSING to have sex with people of the same gender ... not recognising that it's about identity, about love, about personality ... not just genitalia.

Take a look at the http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/ page. And they offer a few alternative interpretations and insights on http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/biblical_evidence.html

Now, I recognise that some of the views they express may be difficult, as they're contrary to the views you've been taught so far, and go against what you believe, but if nothing else, look at them as an opportunity to discover that there are other ways of reading the scriptures out there, and each side believes their way to be correct, and tries their best to live it out in a way that honours their faith.

Hope you're well, and as awesome as you always were!

Luv
Andy

I don't care how you get here, just get here if you can ...

2010-04-20T01:36:00.001+01:00

My Mike was meant to be home on Saturday. It's Tuesday now and there's no sign of that bloody Icelandic volcano letting up!

Is Iceland the new threat to the West ... first the loss of hundreds of thousands of Briton's investments, then the refusal to reimburse the British government for the bailout and now their wretched volcano that grounded all European flights and cost several billions of pounds! I don't know what the official collective noun is for people who live in Iceland, but I have a few choice suggestions!

Remembering ...

2010-04-16T23:24:00.001+01:00

I cycled past this bench this evening. It's a yarn-bombing in memory of Isobel, who died in 2004 at just 6 months of age, and whose birthday would've been today. A lovely tribute.
Rest in peace, Isobel.

A gay priest's story ...

2010-04-15T13:14:00.001+01:00

A friend, when discovering that I was gay and in a relationship, expressed that it was a bit of a shock and asked if others were shocked when they found out. This was my rather lengthy reply and is another telling of my story, which you may know some of, through previous entries.

"I guess I did shock a few people when I came out, but not really when I started dating. I told a number of friends when I came back to PE after my first year in the UK when I'd had time to come to terms with it, but it wasn't a big surprise for many of them ... the pieces just fell into place I guess.

To be fair, my own journey was so traumatic and took so much of my emotional, physical, spiritual and mental energy, that I can't really worry about how someone will receive the news. At the same time, I don't broadcast it, because I know some would struggle with it, but I can only be who I am, and when they find out, I can't take on their struggles as well ... they need to walk their own journey.

I have always known I was gay, but tried to suppress it for many years (28 of them). I guess I have to admit that my work/life balance was unhealthy, but I poured myself into my youth work as a way of hiding from myself. I frequently worked 18 hour days and believed I was being committed and pious, but occasionally I caught up with myself and despised who I saw. I even tried seeing a psychologist for 2.5 years and putting myself through a "Healing from homosexuality" course that was organised through Harvest.

All that transpired was that the psychologist got me to sever my links with my family, because he believed it was all down to nurture and imperfect family relationships, and the "healing" course left me feeling hopelessly inadequate and guilty, because I wasn't being healed. It was also unhelpful when the guy who ran the course couldn't admit that he was still a gay man struggling with his need for companionship, not a healed straight man, and even less helpful when he became attracted to me and stopped talking to me. LOL.

It was an extremely dark period in my life, where I believed that I could never know love and companionship unless I put myself and some poor woman through the sham of a marriage without intimacy. I couldn't do that to someone else, and I could no longer run from who I was, so I faced a life of loneliness and hiding the real me.

At the same time, I knew that I was called to ministry, but that the institution I worked for would never accept me, so I had to hide from them, too.

My emotions were all over the place and I was an overworked, exhausted, lonely and miserable wreck, who occasionally went from extremely low to manic. I often thought of death as my only escape from the desperate loneliness and used to ponder suicide as a better alternative to an indeterminate number of lonely and unhappy years, and I remember sharing with my friend, Tim, my Methodist friend, that the only thing keeping me alive was the belief that the hell I was in was somehow better than the hell I would go to for being gay.

So, yeah ... not a great place to be. All of this was going on at the time I first met you guys. You were a breath of fresh air and a joy and you energised my ministry at the time, but all of this was going on in the background.

When I moved to St Hugh's in Newton Park, things had become even darker for me and Eddie Daniels who was the Rector at the time, reassured me that I could share anything with him in confidence and he would support me. Against my better judgement I let my guard down and shared some of what was going on inside me with him.

He made all the right noises and promised to support me, but then I discovered he was going to parishioners behind my back and starting rumours that I was sexually involved with a lot of the guys at St. Cuthbert's ... Neal, Dylan, Gregg, Mike ... and Tim, my Methodist friend, and JP, one of the young adults at St Hugh's. Good guys who I was very close to, but they're all straight and just close friends.

They were all very good about it when I told them what rumours were going about, and offered to take the matter to court, but I was too scared of being forced to publicly come out, so I never did. Eddie used this and kept spreading the rumours, and when I eventually plucked up the courage to confront him, hoping he would back down, his defence was, "I am your Rector and I'll do whatever I want."

He then forced me into a relationship with a woman I was close friends with, which ruined our friendship and broke her heart. He even tried to force us to live together in the parish house, which I think was abominable and even worse that the leaders in the parish saw no wrong in his actions.

So, I decided the most mature thing would be for me to hand in my resignation and ask Bishop Bethlehem Nopece to move me to another parish, which I did in a perfectly adult way, meeting with the Bishop before resigning and explaining the situation to him, and him agreeing with me and saying he would find me a parish to go to. I wrote to Eddie, explaining honestly that I was saddened we could not work together, but wished him well in his ministry and wished to move on in three month's time (the suggested notice period in the Anglican Church).

He responded by kicking me out of the parish immediately, without any chance to say goodbye to the congregation and without any formal farewell. Obviously, the parish then assumed that I had done something worthy of such banishment, and combined with the rumours, Eddie was making a pretty good job of ruining my reputation and my chance at ministry in Port Elizabeth. It also didn't help that Terry Beadon, who'd moved parishes, then felt it important for him to post a letter to the congregation on the noticeboard, telling them I was being disciplined for being bad and calling for them to pull together behind Eddie.

When the matter went to the Bishop, I presented evidence to him and two of his advisors. None of them knew my side of the story (not that they asked) and they agreed that Eddie was acting irresponsibly and irrationally. However, I also discovered that rank is more important than honesty and justice, and the Bishop didn't challenge Eddie's rapid removal of me, and also didn't keep to his promise to find me another parish, so I was left without a parish to work in, without a way to publicly clear my name (unless I took the matter to court and made it public knowledge that I was gay - something I wasn't ready for). So I was left to deal with it, in silence and on my own.

Robbie, a friend of mine, took me into his parish in Walmer, where I worked for 6 months. However, I had no desire to remain in the Diocese of Port Elizabeth anymore and told Rob that before I made any rash decisions, I needed a year out overseas, maybe at a Theological College, maybe even a monastery. Coincidentally (God-incedentally!), 48 hours later Rob had a phonecall from a monk he'd never spoken with before, asking if he knew of any young clergy who were available to do a year's exchange in the UK at a Theological College - owned by a monastery!!

Obviously, I jumped at the chance, and that's how I ended up in the UK in 2002. It was at Mirfield that I first encountered Christians in ministry who were gay and not ashamed about it, and began gently being honest with myself and others about who I was.

I realised that I couldn't fight the fact that I was called to ministry and I couldn't renounce my faith. But I had also spent a long time trying to run from who I was and change who I was, and I couldn't do that either. So I had to realise that I was both Christian who was called AND gay. Not easy, but unavoidable.

So I would have to try my best to be faithful to both. To practise my faith in a way that was inclusive and to share that inclusive faith with others who were being told that their faith would not accept them. At the same time, I needed to live my life as a gay person who was being true to my faith. I have to recognise that I'm gay - I can't hide it, I can't pretend to be anything else and I don't need to be. I didn't choose to be gay and given the choice I probably wouldn't have, but it's who I was and I needed to be honest in my relationship with God as much as with other people. So I need to responsible about that and represent gay people to my faith as much as the other way round.

It's a difficult gap to bridge ... on one side, gay people are extremely hurt by the Church (global, not just Anglican) and are forced away from it and it's alleged good intentions ("loving the sinner not the sin" is really just another way of saying, "you can belong as long as you act like one of us") and there's a lot of bitter feeling. On the other side, the Church is very distrusting of gay people and operating with loads of misconceptions, such as gay people are somehow straight people who choose to have sex with people of the same sex, or that all gays are paedophiles (when, in fact, paedophiles are paedophiles, and they may be straight or gay), or even that gay people are somehow trying to recruit straight people (if it was that easy to change orientation, then gay people could become straight and save themselves a lot of grief!). I also operates under the misconception that being gay is purely about genital intercourse, and not about falling in love and sharing your life with someone you love, where physical attraction MAY form part of the story, but is not the whole. So, sitting between the two camps can be difficult ... I have a lot of Christian friends who don't like gay people and I have a lot of gay friends who don't like Christians. I try to be frank and unashamed of who I am to both of them.

So I've reached a place of finding a purpose in who I am, rather than trying to hide it or run from it. At the same time, I'm alarmed that the Church as an institution is become increasingly hateful, exclusive and alarmist when it comes to it's dealings with the gay community, and I need to recognise that I may not always be able to be in ministry, but as a wise friend of mine once told me, "always remember that you were called to serve God, but not necessarily with a dog collar."

I am still in ordained ministry, but work as a University Chaplain. That enables me to work in an institution which is inclusive and in which I can be myself, but also to do a lot of good work with the LGBT students and the students of faith, and with students who struggle with either or both. I find it very diverse, challenging and interesting. For now, I'm happy in Chaplaincy.

We'll have to wait and see how long I remain in full-time ministry. If anything, what I went through in Port Elizabeth broke my love affair with it. I love ministry, but I don't need to be a part of an institution that deals with people in that way.

So, my work/life balance has improved remarkably. I now spend time investing in me as well, which is nice.

I also decided to start dating in 2003, as I couldn't continue living life miserably and lonely. I was nervous at first, and was probably damaged goods, but met some great guys who are still friends, broke one or two hearts and had mine broken once or twice along the way. How very normal. ;o)

I met Mike in 2008, and we hit it off straight away. He's absolutely lovely, and we've both had an interesting time, learning to trust someone else with our deepest emotions. I'm very lucky to have met him, and I'm not letting go anytime soon. Obviously, we have our abrasive moments, but that's relationships.

I'm saddened that I can't share that joy with everyone ... and that I need to watch what I say and how we act in public. We can't hold hands, we have to watch eye contact. We can't even sit too close. There are some functions I can't take him to and I sometimes feel I've betrayed him when I introduce him as a friend, rather than my partner, but sadly, that's the way things go from time to time.

Thankfully, however, there are places and friends with whom we can be ourselves and just be normal, which is great.

It's been a helluva rollercoaster ride, but I'm thankful for where I am now and for the opportunities I get to just be me, and the opportunity to finally have someone who loves me for me and not the me I think they want to see."

Sofia ...

2010-04-09T13:41:00.002+01:00

... at least, that's what I'm thinking of naming her. The name of a fiesty, classy Italian lady, for a fiesty, classy Italian car ... ;)

Had her about 3 weeks now. Good mechanical order, needs some cosmetic touch-up and repairs to the air-conditioning, but should serve us well for a number of years to come. ;)

Barbie gets religion

2010-04-01T14:14:00.001+01:00

I thought I'd send you this pious beauty to bring you special Easter wishes. ;o)

It's from an American blogsite ( http://beautytipsforministers.com/2010/03/28/the-genius-of-the-rev-julie-blake-fisher/ ) which
is silly and fun and written by a very funky and sassy minister called
Victoria Weinstein (Peacebang).

Every blessing, this Easter, and always ...

Cufflinks by Sue

2010-03-30T11:33:00.001+01:00

Here's a photo of cufflinks, designed and made by our friend Sue. Brilliantly sparkly. Some great stuff on her website ... take a look at http://www.somethingextraspecial.com

The time has come :(

2010-03-16T13:03:00.001Z

Madame Blueberry's decided it's time to move on and is looking for a new home. You could have her if you were able to pay lebola of £1,800.00 ;o)

RIP Kristian Digby

2010-03-02T18:39:00.001Z

Such a sad day.

I share Alistair Appleton's sentiments that Jan Moir should leave his grieving relatives alone, and not try to step on the memories of a deceased man, in order to boost her own bigoted agenda.

Obviously, I didn't know him personally, but he was a smiling face and a warm personality on the telly. He was gifted, bright and enthusiastic.

We need more Kristian Digbys, and less Jan Moirs.

UK Police sledging on riot shields

2010-01-14T15:27:00.001Z

Personally, I'm thankful to be living in times where this is the best use of a riot shield! Long may they last!

The other man in my life ...

2010-01-09T17:17:00.001Z

;)

This is just a brief fling, but he keeps hanging around in my back garden ... creepy!

LOL.

Christmas 2009

2010-01-04T12:55:00.001Z

This represents Christmas 2009 ... Mike and Andy. Our second Christmas together, but our first together in our shared home. First of many. :)

First snow of the season!

2009-12-18T09:10:00.001Z

South has never had snow this early since I've been here. Does this mean a White Christmas? :)

At last ...

2009-10-01T01:19:00.001+01:00

... I have found something meaningful to do with bad Theology books. ;)

sigh

2009-09-22T12:05:00.001+01:00

After filling in copious forms in duplicate/triplicate/quadruplicate and more, phoning council and government offices and pension departments, I think we may almost be hitting the home strait.

It's phenomenal that in 10 weeks, I have managed to get my Dad a council flat, registered at a dentist, registered at a doctor's, registered with the NHS, got him his free bus pass, opened a bank account for him and he's waiting for a final decision from the Pension Service. He's had dental appointments, doctor's appointments, X-rays, scans, cancer screenings, days out and even keyhole surgery to his knee. All in the space of 3 months. So, like a say, phenomenal ... and I'm exhausted. ;)

We now face the prospect of two moves in one week ... him into his flat, and me into my new home. After that, I reckon I'll just about be ready for a breakdown, but it'll have to go on hold until I can schedule time for it in the new job.

Honey, I'm home ...

2009-09-14T20:49:00.001+01:00

Dad unlocking the front door to his flat for the first time, before the big clean. :)
Carpet-fitters come in first thing tomorrow. Getting there ...

A man's home ...

2009-09-09T21:33:00.000+01:00

I'm rather blown away that Dad's been offered a flat! It took 6 week's of filling in forms and phoning departments and filling in the forms again, and then 6 weeks of twiddling thumbs before more phone calls started coming in, but he's had an offer!!

We went to look at the flat today, and - frankly - I'm astounded at how good it is on the inside. It's a small one-bedroomed place, but it's clean, secure, in good repair, double-glazed, with secure entry, warden supervision on premises, 24-hr panic alarms installed in every room and it's within 2 minute's walk of a doctor's surgery, a pharmacy, 3 pubs, a couple of cafés, a Chinese supermarket, a Chinese take-away, an Indian take-away, a fish-and-chip shop, a few chicken take-aways, a greengrocer's, a general grocer's, a supermarket, a volunteering centre and a Friday and Saturday produce market. It's a short 5-10 minute walk from the city centre.

Like I say ... it's been a rough 12 weeks of filling in forms, and bouncing from pillar to post on the phones, but I'm still astounded at what he's been offered. I think he's a lucky fella. He, naturally, seems entirely underwhelmed, but he'll get enthused, even if it's because I tell him he has to! ;)

With a HUGE stroke of luck, we may be able to settle him before I have to leave the city ...

"God works DESPITE the Church, not because of it ..."

2009-09-06T20:02:00.004+01:00

Time and time I am reminded of the above phrase, and in fact rely on it to stop me becoming disillusioned by the bigotry, politics and power struggles within the Church.

The Anglican church in Port Elizabeth has again proclaimed it's love of bigotry and regression http://www.epherald.co.za/article.aspx?id=467360

Unfortunately, what the person who wrote the article forgot to state was that it's not all Anglicans that are opposed to gay clergy or gay marriage, but only those who have a limited understanding of Scripture and find it too uncomfortable to read it inclusively.

Thankfully, there are many who are willing to recognise that Theology is not always comfortable and should always be practised in a way that is relevant to both the current context and it's original context ... even if that is not the way it was taught to you. That's what discovering truth is ... and thankfully there are many who are happy to discover it.

I O I O it's off to CHELG...

2009-09-02T15:52:00.003+01:00

So this is home for the next 3 days.
I witnessed the impossible en route here ... A clean and sweet-smelling gents toilet ... on a station platform! Well done Leicester ... :)

Good News can be found in South Africa

2009-09-02T01:45:00.001+01:00

There is good news in South Africa. Now, if only the rest of the clergy were as committed to sharing Good News with all.

http://archbishop.anglicanchurchsa.org/2009/08/resolution-of-diocese-of-cape-town-on.html

Two steps forward, one step back ...

2009-08-21T11:49:00.002+01:00

... or is that one step forward, two steps back?

In the 2 months since Dad landed here, I've managed to open a bank account for him, get him his free bus pass (which he refuses to use), register him at a doctor, register him at a dentist, have his hearing tested, get his hip and spine x-rayed, get his knee looked at, get treatment for his teeth, apply for Pension Credits for him and apply for Council accommodation for him ... that's all positive and a sizeable achievement for two months.

On the other hand, the frustrating thing is that we have nothing concrete ... in 2 months I've managed to get the City Council to agree that he's eligible for Council housing, but we still have to begin and go through the whole process of applying for that, being rejected, reapplying, being outbid and reapplying; I've managed to get the DWP to agree that he's entitled to Pension Credit, but they still have to interview him before they can make a final decision, which could take several weeks; I've managed to get the doctor to test and see that his hip needs treatment, but there's been no progress on what treatment or when; I've managed to get his knee tested and discovered that that needs treatment, too, but there's no treatment date or plan; I've managed to get the dentist to begin treating his teeth, but without the DWP approving his Pension Credits, that's costing a small fortune and the dentist doesn't seem to be aware that patients on a low income or over 60 can claim for support with dental treatment; I've managed to get him registered with a number of voluntary agencies to do some volunteering to keep him active and get him out the house, but they all say they'll contact him around or after October. So, all in all, it's like trying to run through quicksand ... and I'm exhausted.

tbh ... I'm not exactly sure how much longer I can keep this up. I have my own life to manage, and I'm trying to prepare for a job change and a house move.

Time will tell ...

Happiness is ...

2009-06-21T14:57:00.001+01:00

Father's day lunch in the UK. ;)

Inspirational person of the week ...

2009-05-19T12:01:00.001+01:00

Discovered another inspirational person while surfing this morning. Her name is Nomfuso ... she was raised in KwaZhakele in the Eastern Cape, South Africa, by her mother. At the age of 12, she lost her mother to AIDS and was taken in by her Aunt, who tragically also died of AIDS 4 years later.

Sadly, her cousins then became emotionally and physically abusive, prompting her to leave and move in with her brother in his shack in Khayelitsha in Cape Town, where she began working to support her studies in Accounting. Her job was at Stardust restaurant, where waiting staff were required to perform on stage in-between meal service, and things took off from there.

She wrote her first song on the day of her mother's funeral. Her music is energetic and her message is simple, you need to take control of your future and rise above your situation.

I take my hat off to her ...

Day of Silence

2009-04-17T19:21:00.001+01:00

The race is on...

2009-01-17T16:49:00.002Z

LOL ... I've just found the news articles about the atheist bus campaign that's ruffling evangelical tail feathers.

The buses have amusing phrases on them, like "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life." This became a news item when a bus driver refused to drive one of the buses, because the website name ( http://www.atheistcampaign.org ) offended him.

I guess I can understand how evangelical Christians could be upset at the banners, but I just find them funny. And you can't really make exceptions ... the evangelicals have been using buses for years ... with the alpha course and jesussaid.org banners. So why should the atheists not get a crack at it?

Interestingly enough ... people seem to be a lot more passionate about the atheist campaign than by the alpha or jesussaid campaigns. Compare http://www.justgiving.com/alphaposters/ with http://www.justgiving.com/atheistbus . The difference is astounding, and quite funny.

Who knows ... Perhaps this is people saying that Christianity needs to find a message that includes people, rather than attempts to scare them into submission and conformity? That the Church should focus on how it can serve people, rather than dictate to them? That Christians should not feel so threatened by people who don't conform to their method of thinking, but should be ready to share the playing field and hear (and understand) their views? That the Church is in no position to focus on how it can exclude people ... it should focus on how it can include and welcome them and celebrate their differences?

For that reason, I reckon the atheist bus campaign is a good thing. At least it encourages discussion and inclusion.

Bizarre...

2009-01-06T18:55:00.002Z

Who would have thought they would ever see the day when footballers were better at expressing God's will than the pope? I guess it ties in with the commonly felt notion that football stadiums are the new cathedrals.

Perhaps footballers have now become the proclaimers of Good News to the masses, and the pope is now an overpaid, overly dramatic individual with an over-full wardrobe, a distorted sense of reality and a home that's oversized?

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/beckham-fights-antigay-prejudice-1228180.html

Benedict the bulldog

2008-12-24T21:17:00.001Z

What do I think of the Pope's recent hateful comments that will no doubt give rise to new enthusiasm for homophobic attacks and discrimination?

Well ... the thing i've learned is that the pope has authority, but he doesn't represent all Catholics, pretty much the same as Bush didn't represent all Americans, mugabe doesn't represent all Zimbabweans and osama doesn't represent all Muslims.

What it shows, is that - sadly - the loudest voices aren't always from the best people, and often the people with the loudest voices, not the best character, end up in positions of leadership. It would be a mistake to judge all those under them by their misguided behaviour.

Prop 8 The Musical

2008-12-23T19:47:00.001Z

While Benedict, the Catholic Bulldog, tries to spread hate, it's nice to know some people are trying to spread love.
Bless them!

... Because u're worth it!

2008-12-19T20:41:00.001Z

Seen on an underpass in Southampton ... Graffiti for the soul. ;)

First frost...

2008-12-07T14:21:00.000Z

At least, I think it's my garden's first frost of the season. With much more to come, hopefully. ;)

Christmas in the vicarage

2008-11-26T09:43:00.001Z

A little over a week ago, I was interviewed by some of our Media students about Halloween. They wanted to know what I thought of the observations of Halloween, whether I was concerned by it's pagan past, and what I thought of dressing up. Naturally, I told them that dressing up was fabulous, but that I had difficulty deciding. ;o)

They then asked me whether I was concerned about the commercialisation of religious festivals, and what I thought of the fact that stores were pushing things like Christmas, Easter and Halloween as money-making events. My response was that I had nothing against the stores ... everyone was trying to make a living. And, in reality, perhaps they were keeping the festivals more alive than the religious institutions could. But, I did add that it would be good if the consumers were aware of the origins of the festival. I'm not fussed if people know the origins of Christmas and the Christmas story, but then decide to distance themselves from that and that Christmas for them is a time of giving presents and feasting together. Everyone has the freedom to make up their own minds, but they should at least know the origin of the feast they're observing, even if they choose to differ.

On that basis, last night I ignored all traditions and conventions, and put up my Christmas tree! I spent last Christmas working in the Caribbean (ok, it was a 2 week Caribbean cruise, but I did have to work on it!), and now that I have met Mikey (who, in 10 years, has only had one Christmas at home), I felt it would be nice to put the tree up early and give it a good run for it's money.

So now my home is operating more on a commercial timescale of Christmas ... interesting. I shall, however, resist putting out the eggs for Easter in February.

Happy Wednesday to all. ;o)

I have been one acquainted with the night ...

2008-10-24T21:35:00.001+01:00

Power's out, time for books, candles and bubble bath. :)

Some informed and inclusive thoughts ...

2008-09-29T17:32:00.001+01:00

I am encouraged today by a few pieces in a recent edition of the Church
Times ...

Firstly, by an article in the Comments section, by Dr Michael King.
http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/content.asp?id=60752

Secondly, of some interest are the letters in the same edition ...
http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/content.asp?id=60769

And thirdly, not from the Church Times, but a link I've often mentioned
before which is good for generating some informed discussion is
http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/ , which also has a very good video
introduction.

All loved up...

2008-09-15T17:58:00.001+01:00

Flowers from Mikey. ;) South African Proteas.

The Christmas Broadcast, 1957

2008-08-16T03:20:00.001+01:00

Awesome dedication and commitment!

Happiness is ...

2008-07-26T12:35:00.001+01:00

... Boston Tea Party in Park Street on a lazy Saturday morning. ;)

Hark, what is that on the horizon?

2008-07-20T09:24:00.001+01:00

Behold! ;)

Great things on the horizon!

2008-07-19T02:43:00.001+01:00

Ikea Southampton cometh! 2009. What joy!

I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien ...

2008-06-27T17:08:00.001+01:00

The compulsion to photograph landmarks in London is just too strong. ;)

Scans see 'gay brain differences'

2008-06-18T11:42:00.001+01:00

Interesting article:

The brains of gay men and women look like those found in heterosexual
people of the opposite sex, research suggests.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7456588.stm

Glass half full

2008-06-09T23:22:00.001+01:00

How I wish I could napalm it!

Craig Womersley in last year's Britain's Got Talent

2008-06-02T15:43:00.001+01:00

What a phenomenal performance. It really is all about having a dream!

Birth year in music

2008-05-27T18:21:00.001+01:00

LOL ... I've been doing some research on what the number 1's were in the charts in the year that I was born. Some of them are gr8 ...

Jan 1974 Terry Jacks - Seasons in the sun

Jan 1974 Mud - Tiger Feet

Feb 1974 Suzi Quatro - Devil Gate Drive

Feb 1974 Paper Lace - Billy don't be a hero

Feb 1974 Alvin Stardust - Jealous Mind

Apr 1974 ABBA - Waterloo

Apr 1974 Ray Stevens - The Streak

May 1974 The Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love

Jun 1974 George McCrae - Rock your baby

Jun 1974 Gary Glitter - Always Yours

Jun 1974 John Denver - Annie's Song

Jun 1974 Charles Aznavour She

Jul 1974 The Three Degrees - When will I see you again

Aug 1974 Karl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting

Aug 1974 The Osmonds - Love me for a reason

Sep 1974 Sweet Sensation - Sad Sweet Dreamer

Sep 1974 Ken Boothe - Everything I Own

Oct 1974 David Essex - Gonna Make You a Star

Nov 1974 Mud - Lonely This Christmas

Nov 1974 Barry White - My Everything

Dec 1974 The Tymes - Miss Grace

Dec 1974 Status Quo - Down Down

Trinity 1 - why worry?

2008-05-21T16:38:00.002+01:00

My column for the parish newsletter for Trinity 1:

Our gospel reading for this morning contains some great advice, which I
only wish I could follow.

Worrying is what I do ? it?s not a preferred pastime, but one which I have
become rather good at over the years.

However, I like to think that I?ve gotten a little better at recognising
those things that aren?t worth worrying about, or that worrying about will
not actually make any easier.

For example, last week I worried a lot about what to preach on Trinity
Sunday, but when I discovered on Trinity Sunday that I was in the vestry
at St. Mary?s and my sermon notes were in my study at home, I didn?t
really worry at all. The one I could do something about, the other not.

Perhaps that?s a good place to start ? worry only about the things that
are worth worrying about. Perhaps we should do less worrying and more
planning.

I think there is great wisdom in recognising when worrying will not
actually help a situation at all, and in knowing how to let go of those
worries. Worrying about your speed in a traffic jam, worrying about
whether or not you?ll have a job in 5 years, worrying about whether we?ll
have sunshine over the weekend, worrying about whether or not someone
likes you ? I could go on and on ? these are all examples of futile
worrying.

However, to stretch the metaphor a little, what we can do is try and avoid
heavy traffic routes, or keep performing well at work and looking for
opportunities to add more skills to our CV?s, or have a plan B in case it
rains, or work to earn someone?s trust and friendship ? these are all
perhaps ways in which planning can be beneficial, while worrying can?t.

That way there SHOULD be less to worry about, but I know that that?s not
always the case, either. Being absolutely in control is not often
accompanied by low stress levels.

I guess this is a prime example of a delicate balance that we only really
begin to learn about with experience and the wisdom that age brings.

And there I was, worrying about getting old!

Trinity Sunday

2008-05-21T16:38:00.001+01:00

Parish news insert I wrote for Trinity Sunday:

The news this week seems to have only gotten worse. It reinforces what I
mentioned last week that it is absolutely vital that we stand together as
human beings, leaning on each other and offering each other love and
support.

This is backed up by our second reading this Sunday, in which we?re told
to agree with one another, to live in peace and the God of love and peace
will be with us.

A poem that I have received a lot of inspiration from this year, is one
written for the Holocaust Memorial Day.

HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
Pledge for National Holocaust Memorial Day 2008

Everyone has a right to be free,
Where there is no freedom for others,
There is no freedom for me.

Everyone has a right to be different,
Where there is no respect for difference,
There can be no respect for me.

There is HOPE for a safer future if I protect liberty,
If I RESPECT others,
Others will RESPECT me.

With warmest blessings,
Andy

Pentecost Parish News Insert

2008-05-07T11:45:00.001+01:00

Here's a column I wrote for this week's Parish leaflet:

The news this week has been rather sobering. We have heard about tragic loss of life in Burma / Myanmar, the ongoing election nightmare in Zimbabwe, the surprise eruption of Chaiten Volcano in Chile there are so many to choose from.

In our first reading today one phrase leapt out at me "they were all together in one place" (Acts 2:1). It reminded me that there is strength in numbers. It also reminded me of the African phrase of "Ubuntu", which is roughly translated as "I am, because we are" a sense that a community and a society is only as strong as its individuals, and that each person is responsible for the well-being of the community which naturally includes them. So that every act that an individual performs for the benefit of the community benefits them too albeit indirectly sometimes, and every act that an individual performs that harms the community harms them too.

We are reminded, too, in our second reading that "just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ" (1 Cor 12:12), which this morning I would like to use in the context of community again.

It strikes me that, with the scale and number of disasters we are seeing now, what we really need to be doing as humans, is supporting each other and standing together. Not judging each other on nationality, gender identity, faith, creed, political affiliation, income bracket, accent, ideologies or any other such thing.

It is vital that we become a people that focus on our similarities, celebrate these, and support and act for the good of each other. I believe it is when we begin to do that that we see true transformation of communities and individuals, and the Spirit of God can truly begin to work and to renew.

Happy Pentecost

You're a WINNER!!

2008-04-28T02:03:00.001+01:00

LOL ... I do think frezned is awesome. Love this video. May forward it to a few friends. ;)

Water draining in the Southern Hemisphere

2008-04-28T01:54:00.001+01:00

And this video is water draining in the Southern Hemisphere ... also clockwise!!!

What's that about? Clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere and clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere?!

Does gravity go up occasionally, too?!

Water draining in the Northern Hemisphere

2008-04-28T01:53:00.001+01:00

OK ... so been a while. Plenty happening, but not much I've felt needed blogging about.

So for those of you that wondered ... on a recent trip back to South Africa, I did test the whole clockwise or anticlockwise water draining thing in both hemispheres. Here's the result.

This video is water draining in the Northern Hemisphere ... clockwise.

Southern hemisphere video will be posted next.

Lent 2

2008-02-13T11:01:00.001Z

The third in the series:

Lent 2

After last week's snippet, it occurs to me that perhaps next year I should give up meetings for Lent.

It seems that in the Christian and Secular spheres, we often have people setting up meetings for the sake of it. We have meetings to discuss ideas, meetings to discuss meetings; we even have meetings to ensure that the meetings remain in our diaries. Sometimes, we have that most blessed of all – the duplicate meeting.

Meetings appease our conscience – they make us look busy, give us a sense of accomplishment and can help us gather others around us to make decisions we don't want to accept sole responsibility for. Meetings can be hugely beneficial, and often are, but sometimes I do wonder how many of them are needless duplication.

The trend exists in the Church (with a capital 'C'!), but it does have to be said that the trend exists outside the Church, too. In other organisations and institutions, we sometimes see the infamous 'Update' meeting creeping into our diaries.

I wonder whether the purpose of many of our meetings is clear to us, or whether it is to enable us or others to feel busy.

We do like to be busy and to look busy – in our faith and in our careers. It gives us something to measure, some way to validate how we spend our time. I wonder how much time we clear in our lives to enable us to reflect and be silent. That's not as easy to measure or to feel good about, but arguably much more beneficial.

Perhaps that's a second challenge this Lent, or for a future Lent … Can we allow ourselves some space to reflect on our faith, our families or our careers? Or is that me trying to give the time a purpose again? Can we simply allow ourselves some time without anything to do?

Can we allow ourselves to not schedule a meeting, but merely spend time alone or with others, for their- or our sake? Rather than investing in our timetables, can we allow ourselves to invest in ourselves and our relationships – whether they are work or personal?

Lent 1

2008-02-13T11:00:00.001Z

The second in the Sunday newsletter inserts for February:

Lent 1

In 1993 I was doing a year of missionary youth work in the Northern and North Eastern areas of the old Transvaal province in South Africa – now the Limpopo and Mpumalanga provinces. There was a group of 6 of us from all over the country and we stayed in a house which doubled as the Diocesan Offices. The Diocesan Treasurer had a 1-bedroomed flat in the back garden and occasionally shared mealtimes with us.

During Lent that year, we asked the Diocesan Treasurer what he was going to be giving up for Lent, and he responded that he was giving up Church! We all thought he was joking – until he never arrived for the first Sunday in Lent … or the Second, or the third, or any services in Lent. True to his word – he only came back to church on Easter Sunday. We initially thought it rather strange, but at the end of Lent, we saw a changed man. From Easter, that Diocesan Treasurer found that – rather than dragging himself out of bed and grudgingly sitting in Church – he loved going – Lent had both transformed him and transformed his experience and understanding of his faith.

I realised then that Lent was about more than just giving up something … it's an opportunity to spend time looking within ourselves, at what makes us tick, and identifying the areas where we can make positive changes.

I'm not suggesting that we should all give up church for Lent. But for that Diocesan Treasurer in 1993, Lent was an opportunity to evaluate what his faith meant for him.

The challenge for us this Lent is not to think about what we can give up, but to find out how we can make Lent a time for positive change for each of us, and perhaps for us as a community.

February Newsletters

2008-02-13T10:58:00.001Z

I've been asked to do a bunch of letters for the parish newsletter for February, and I thought I'd stick them here as well. Should be fairly safe, as no one reads this. ;o)

Here's the first, written for the first Sunday in February:

3 February

It's the end of January and already the year seems off to a rather shaky start. I hear from colleagues at the university, friends and family about personal and, sometimes, tragic losses experienced in the post-Christmas period. Students are struggling with post-Christmas homesickness, dwindling student loans, assignment deadlines and exams. Then there are the news headlines, about a potential recession, not to mention 'wars and rumours of wars'.

A recent article in the Guardian mentioned that Thursday last week (January 24) was apparently the most depressing day of the year. This was calculated by Cliff Arnall of Cardiff University, using an elaborate scientific formula.

So if you're feeling a little off-colour after Christmas, it's nice to know that at least it's perfectly natural, so we don't have to add guilt to all of the above.

But what can we do about it? It's good to remind ourselves about what we do have … homes, families, friends, food, life. Look for the signs of spring and new life … the earlier sunrises and later sunsets, the flowers in the lawn, the buds on the trees. Find and encourage the positive in others, especially our nearest and dearest … say something positive, do something for them, pamper each other a little, book a meal out or cook a meal in, watch a film together, enjoy a lazy cup of coffee together in the afternoon sun or perhaps plan a day out together.

And, remember, too, in the words of our Psalm this Sunday "The Lord of hosts, he is the King of glory" … our God is loving, welcoming, unchanging, victorious, accessible, forgiving and eternal.

January blues ...

2008-01-31T10:32:00.001Z

A brief article written for a local parish newsletter:

So if you're feeling a little off-colour after Christmas, it's nice to know that at least it's perfectly natural, so we don't have to add guilt to all of the above.

And, remember, too, in the words of our Psalm this Sunday "The Lord of hosts, he is the King of glory" … our God is loving, welcoming, unchanging, victorious, accessible, forgiving and eternal.

Dad and his harmonica

2008-01-11T01:27:00.001Z

I recorded my Dad playing his harmonica tonight. I reckon he's pretty good. There are three songs in total ... click along to my YouTube profile to see the others.

ROFL

2008-01-09T17:04:00.001Z

The Horoscope on BT's homepage for today had this to say this morning ...

Sagittarius (11/22-12/21)

The key for you is to minimize your daily drama as much as possible, dear Sagittarius. You may not realize how much you are crippling yourself by the way you exaggerate every aspect of your life. Try not to give so much of your attention to things that really do not matter much. Petty jealousy and gossip about other people's lives are especially irrelevant in your world.

Capricorn (12/22-1/19)

Be careful of advertising yourself as someone who is so strong and mentally competent that you are capable of handling everything, dear Capricorn. Take note that the strongest mule on the trail usually ends up carrying the most weight. Your emotions are more sensitive than you may think, and certainly more sensitive than you demonstrate to others. Be honest about the way you feel, and not just the way you think.

Are they suggesting that I'm an attention-seeking drama queen?! I'll show them!!!

Islands & Cruises

2008-01-09T10:02:00.001Z

A few reflections on our Caribbean Cruise

We started at Barbados on 21 December. We were more than a few hours late departing port, because our flight from Gatwick had been delayed by 6 or 7 hours (thanks to the fog). From Barbados, we sailed North and then West, stopping at a different island each day, with Cozumel being our furthest Western port. From Cozumel we sailed East across the Caribbean Sea, with two full sea days, before arriving at Aruba, then Curacao and Grenada and finishing up at Barbados again. Grenada replaced Mayreau on the original itinerary, as the Captain found out that Mayreau would have several cruise liners in port that day, and thought it would be too busy.

We berthed at St. Lucia a few hours late on 22 December.
Next was Antigua on 23 December, and St. Maarten on 24 December.
We were at sea on Christmas day.
Ocho Rios, Jamaica on 26 December.
Grand Cayman on 27 December and Cozumel, Mexico on the 28 December.
29 and 30 December were at sea, and 31 December was in Aruba.
On 1st Jan we were in Curacao, and then at sea again for the 2nd of Jan, and in Grenada on 3rd Jan.
We returned to Barbados on 4 Jan, and began the flight home.

The cruise was fantastic. Although we would've had more privileges as passengers (as well as more opportunity to join the official tours on each island - at an extra cost, mind you - so I probably would've still preferred to wander about on foot), we had a great time. What I did find is that the passengers were for the most part extremely cautious of being near the Chaplain (a great way to secure an empty seat next to you, or an elevator to yourself!), but the Crew were fantastic. The Deputy Cruise Director had scheduled a church service for me for every morning, and numbers weren't always great (people would either be sleeping in, or waiting to go ashore or gathering for their tour groups), but my Midnight Mass and Christmas morning numbers were very good, and larger than last year's figures. I think it's the first time the Cruise Director's office has received a breakdown of statistics from the Chaplain after a cruise.

For the most part, the heat was wasted on me ... I'm a winter lover, and so I was slapping Factor 50 on whenever I went outside to avoid tempting melanomas (unlike most of the passengers), but the islands were fantastic.

Particular favourites were St. Maarten, Curacao and Mexico (not least because I found a Starbucks in Mexico, and by this time I was seriously craving my Grande, extra shot, Soya Cappuccino!). I'd love to revisit those some day. I did not enjoy Jamaica, and found the people rude and aggressive. Other than that, it was fantastic.

Our star entertainer on board was Claire Sweeney, who came across really well, with a warm and down-to-earth personality. I didn't get to chat to her, but did spend some time with the other entertainers and a meal with Graham Powell, one of the other guest entertainers (all I know is he used to perform with Matt Munroe), who was a great guy, and David Bennett, a graphologist who was giving a few lectures on board.

I hope that brings you up to speed, but naturally, there's loads more, so if you would like to know anything more, let me know.

Happy New Year!!

The age of miracles is upon us!!!

2007-12-20T23:34:00.001Z

Andy's cruise contract says to take everything he needs for his duties in his hand luggage!

Have they tried to fit a Bible, Liturgical materials, Common Worship service books, altar linen, robes, stoles, communion wafers, clergy shirts, and more in their hand luggage?! Andy thinks they are uninformed!!

However, somehow ... somehow, he has made it happen. Now just to dislocate his shoulder as he carries this bag of lead through the airport!!

Christmas cheer?

2007-12-12T13:45:00.000Z

Prancer, spreading the love at Christmas time. ;o)

We always knew, Prancer. (from CollegeHumor)

Are you looking for Jesus? How about Jesus in pink flock?

2007-12-07T15:23:00.000Z

I stumbled across these beauties at a store this week. They're selling flocked Jesus' & Marys. I'm not sure what I find more bizarrely humourous ... the fact that someone's produced these in flock, the fact that they have a slot between their shoulder blades you can fit coins in, or the fact that Jesus and Mary have apparently reversed genders. While images of Mary in blue are commonplace, I must say, it's the first time I've seen Jesus in a pink flock.

What a daring (albeit tacky beyond belief) theological statement.

Feast your eyes on these babies!

Happy Christmas

2007-12-07T13:59:00.000Z

Gosh, it's hard to believe Christmas is upon us again.

But, I've had the obligatory illness, I've got the tree up and the presents are wrapped, so it must be time. I've even got new decorations on the tree this year, and a second set of new lights. Yes, a second set, as the first new set I bought didn't work - I can't ever buy anything that works first time ... it's an impossibility.

What was even more amusing, was the fact that I was off sick with the flu, but still decided I needed a change of scenery and it was time to change the horizon of my pillow for the actual horizon. So I wrapped up warm and went into town to John Lewis to go and exchange the faulty Christmas lights. Only, I forgot I was running a helluva fever, and by the time I got to the counter at John Lewis, I was out of breath, my voice was deep and raspy, I was dripping with sweat, my shirt was soaked through with massive wet patches and I was shaking. I'm sure the bloke behind the counter was looking at me and thinking what a loser I was, "Sheesh! Who's this guy kidding? Why bother with the lights ... Like anyone would spend Christmas with him!"

Thankfully I had driven in, because by the time they had finished with the paperwork, I wasn't sure I would make it much further than the car. Needless to say that when I got home, I ditched the lights on the floor, made a cup of Lemsip (Med-lemon to all my Saffa friends & family) and collapsed into bed.

I decided to come into work today, as I was feeling much better, but again, have discovered that feeling much better in your room at home, does not mean you're necessarily well enough to walk into work and spend the day there. I've got this vague 'out of body' feeling going on, where I need to actively concentrate to perform routine functions like walking. My movement is extremely calculated, rather than natural. I arrived this morning, announced I was feeling better, and was promptly told by a lovely colleague that I looked like "$h1T" and should go home. I probably should've, but you never know, I may need my sick leave later on for an even deadlier illness (I'd probably still wheel myself into work, dragging my spleen behind me!).

My dad arrives in the U.K. in about 5 days' time. I'm really looking forward to his visit. My family does have a really limited honeymoon period during which we amicably co-habit, and after that we simply co-habit. It'll be interesting to see what happens with just him on his own, because he's very much the quiet member of the family (which also means he's the most picked on). He does everything he can for others ... I just hope I don't resort to old family patterns and lose my temper with any small habits I've forgotten. But, no point worrying about that. I'm looking forward to his visit. Not least of all, because it's the first time one of my parents has come to see me since I settled in the U.K. in 2002. But, also because it's great to be able to offer him the chance. He's not travelled since 1981 and he's not been on leave from work since 1986 (he's been self-employed and struggling to keep his head above water since then).

The two of us will be cruising the Caribbean over Christmas ... another major thing to look forward to. I've been asked to perform Christmas services on board, and in exchange they will give flights, and the cruise and accommodation to myself and a guest. Although I'm not sure if I am looking forward to it. I think it's because I'm not sure what services I'm going to be asked to do yet, and I hate last-minute planning. I like having a full printout of all services, knowing what times they're likely to occur, what the readings are, what hymns/songs will be played, who will be present, etc., etc.. Then I can begin to plan what my part is. This 'going in blind' approach doesn't really suit me. But, perhaps I'll be pleasantly surprised and will have a phenomenal time. Perhaps it'll even teach me to be less pedantic about planning ... not likely, though.

Wishing you and your loved ones a phenomenal Christmas, or - if you're celebrating one of the many other festivals over this period - a joyous festival.

;o)

At last Fred Phelps gets his come-uppance!

2007-11-02T15:58:00.001Z

At last, Fred Phelps and his deluded cult have got their just reward for spreading hate and promoting extremism.

In today's Newswatch email from the Bible Society,

"ROGUE CHURCH ORDERED TO COMPENSATE SOLDIER'S FAMILY

An independent church that pickets US soldiers' funerals claiming their deaths are a punishment for American tolerance of homosexuality has been fined $10.9 million. Grieving father Albert Snyder sued the Westboro Baptist Church after members demonstrated at the funeral of his son, Marine Lance Corporal Matthew Snyder, who was killed in Iraq. The church composed largely of members of its leader's relatives regularly attends military funerals waving banners declaring 'God hates fags' and 'Thank God for dead soldiers'. A Baltimore jury ruled that the church had violated the family's privacy and deliberately inflicted emotional distress."

Sources: The Guardian (1/11); The Times (1/11)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,,2203227,00.html
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article2783974.ece

In my opinion, they should be pursued and forced to pay. They've done nothing but spread grief and cause emotional turmoil for grieving families, and forced their hatred on others when they are most vulnerable. Perhaps a life of working to pay off $11m will quiet them down enough to enable them to rethink.

Yep ... this just about sums it up! ;o)

2007-11-01T11:27:00.001Z

One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the dreadful behaviour that was going on.

So he called one of his angels and sent the angel to earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% of people are misbehaving and only 5% are not."

God thought for a moment and said," Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time too.

When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes it's true. The earth IS in decline; 95% of people are misbehaving, but 5% are being good." God was not pleased. So he decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them ... give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?

No?

Okay, just wondering. I didn't get one either.

Thank God for a healthy faith approach to sexuality

2007-10-25T17:04:00.001+01:00

This is a greeting from Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu for the beginning of the 2006 Out in Africa Film Festival.

If only mor This is a greeting from Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu for the beginning of the 2006 Out in Africa Film Festival.

If only more people practised this approach, rather than religious bigotry, how much better would the world be?!

News, views, cars & the lurgy

2007-10-09T11:45:00.001+01:00

The most exciting news I have is that I've bought a little 2nd hand Smart car (courtesy of the bank of Stuey, till I sell mine ;o) ). The Smart was dubbed 'Madame Blueberry' by Stuey, and so Madame Blueberry she is. She's a hunny and fun to drive. Now I just have to sell my beautiful Beth (a Citroën C3 Desire 1.4i).

So, if anyone ever reads this (and you know of someone looking for a car), she's a 53Reg, is gorgeous, in passion red, has power steering, electric front windows, aircon, driver, passenger and side airbags, emergency brake assist, has only had one owner from new and is in excellent condition. She has her full service history, and has only ever been serviced at Citroën dealers. She's got just over 39,000miles on the clock and she has just had her 40,000mile service (and servicing only happens every 20,000miles).

In other news, I spent the weekend nursing the lurgy ... the infamous Freshers Flu. I went to my GP Surgery last week for travel advice for the Caribbean Cruise in December, and they gave me a Hep-A injection, and then they said that I had to have a flu injection, because I was asthmatic. I told them that I hadn't had one since 1986 and didn't want one, as I'd not had flu since I could remember. They said that I really should have one, as the flu strains were getting worse every year. I know this, but my antibodies are getting stronger every year, and in my opinion - once you start doing your body's job for it and giving it injections to fight the flu, it won't produce stronger antibodies, because it'll be expecting the flu injection every year. I asked the nurse if I would get the flu as a result of the injection, and she reassured me I wouldn't. So, I foolishly gave in, and let them suck me into their conspiracy. And what happened?! I ended up with the flu ... aching muscles, coughing, phlegm (I just love the spelling of that word) and exhaustion. So, with renewed conviction that the flu injection weakens your body's own process of antibody production, I won't be going for anymore flu jabs.

Tomorrow, I have the region's Church Leaders from several different denominations coming to visit at the University. Bishops, Divisional Commanders, Moderators, Chair of District, and then some. I hate these formal functions. I fail dismally at them ... I end up using someone's first name, when they'd prefer their title, or try to use their title and get it wrong. I end up being too informal for some, while others like it. Then, of course, there's the whole expectation in the Church of England that if you're more catholic in your worship, you have to dress in black, in fact to some I should probably be dressed in Cassock tomorrow. The thought leaves me colder than a ducks thighs in the arctic. The whole point of these occasions, is to brag about the accomplishments of your department/church/chaplaincy office, and I'm hopeless at that, too. I'd much rather be the person worrying about the tea and coffee in the background (which I'll have to do plenty of tomorrow, as well, I guess). So, tomorrow will no doubt be rather tense and exhausting, while I try and figure out what game it is I'm meant to be playing, and which mask it is I'm meant to be wearing.

Moving swiftly on ... I had sad news over the weekend. Hilda Mohale, the lady who used to do my cleaning in S.A. (and before all my UK friends go all 'la dee da ... you had a cleaner' on me ... I couldn't afford a cleaner, but I felt that she really needed the pay, so I hired her for a morning every fortnight, and paid her a full day's wages), passed away rather suddenly. She had been ill and lost a lot of weight, and suffered a stroke and then passed away. She was a phenomenal woman, and had such strength of character and convictions. I had to hire her when I first saw her cleaning for a friend of mine ... she used to lift up a three-seater, wood-framed sofa with one arm and vacuum under it with the other. Over the years, we got to know each other, and she was a giant of a character. The sort of maternal figure that nurtures and parents everybody. Many a time, I got a stern talking-to for staying up too late the night before Hilda was due to come and do some cleaning. She had a hard lot in life, and I think ended up looking after her sister's children as well as her own, and one of her sons went into prison, but she was a strong character. I helped her where I could, and spoke to her a few times from the U.K., but not in ages. My thoughts & prayers with her family.

A close friend of mine, Kerry, lost her mom over the weekend as well. Irene's health had deteriorated rather rapidly, and I think a stroke was somewhere in the battle, too. She was another strong character, and another mother for me (I did tend to gather them up). I used to have Sunday roast dinners there, and occasionally I'd stop off in the working day for a quick coffee and a bit of telly and a chat. I remember at one stage, she asked me if I'd sleep with her daughter, just to give her grandchildren. LOL. Unfortunately, neither her daughter nor I are the procreating type. Good times. My thoughts & prayers with Kebs, Dabs & family, too.

Empowering

2007-09-20T16:37:00.000+01:00

Preached this sermon in St. Peter's, Maybush on 9 September 2007. St. Peter's is a gorgeous little church, with some charming Art Deco features (most notably the leaded windows and the light fittings), and very welcoming congregation.

Philemon
Lk 14:25 – 33

Rather than the Gospel, I’d like to focus on the reading from Philemon this morning
Because it lends itself well to a theme that seems to be occupying my thoughts a lot of late … namely the theme of inclusivity and affirmation.
In our Philemon reading, there are 3 main characters; Paul, Onesimus and Philemon. The letter is written to Philemon – afriend of Paul’s, while Paul himself is in prison, about Onesimus.
Why was it written? That’s not immediately apparent simply from reading the text, but is rather to be found in the background behind the text. That’s also where it becomes quite an interesting story. Onesimus was once Philemon’s slave. To make matters more interesting, Onesimus had stolen from Philemon and then run away … matters which clearly were not befitting for a slave.
Onesimus ended up where Paul was in prison, and was of assistance to Paul, and so Paul writes the letter to Philemon, encouraging and affirming him first, but then asking him that he do welcome Onesimus back, but even more, welcome him as a brother, not a slave. So he was asking for Philemon to not only forgive Onesimus, but to free him.
A bit of a tall order, perhaps?
But, then Paul saw something in Onesimus that others couldn’t see.
He recognised Onesimus’ potential and sought to empower him to reach that potential.
And do we know exactly what happened to Onesimus, after Paul’s act of kindness? We do know that Philemon forgave and freed Onesimus and welcomed him as a brother.
After that, things are not as clear. Some scholars believe that he is the same Onesimus that was consecrated Bishop of Ephesus by the Apostles years later.
We do know that Onesimus has since been sainted by the Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox and Lutheran Churches
But who knows where he would’ve ended up without someone who saw him, not for what he was, but for what he could be?
Our Lord was an empoweror as well …
He had a small band of misfits as followers.
I like to think of them as the gang that weren’t…
The weren’t glamorous enough; they weren’t literate enough or learned enough; they weren’t wealthy enough; they weren’t articulate enough; they weren’t respected enough; they weren’t strong enough; they weren’t brave enough; they weren’t wise enough; they weren’t charismatic enough…
And yet … He believed in them!
And look at the outcome of that relationship!
Our Lord is an empoweror to us as well.
He believes in our potential, and wants us to reach that potential.
Are we empowerors to those around us?
Do we see the potential in others, or do we simply see what they do wrong.
I think, sadly nowadays, people are far too aware of what other people do wrong, and not able to see the phenomenal potential of the other person
And so, we are faced with two challenges this morning;
Firstly, how we can reach the potential that our Lord sees in us; and
Secondly, how we can affirm and empower others to reach their God-given potential
The reality is that we don’t live in an affirming society … we’re bombarded with messages and media that tell us all the negative things about ourselves and our lives:
Our young people are disrespectful, not to be trusted and lazy
Our children are not clever, sporty or well-behaved enough
Our young men and women aren’t fit, attractive or glamorous enough
Our parents aren’t wealthy or cool enough
Our partners aren’t considerate, romantic or attractive enough
We’re not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough
The list goes on
We’re bombarded by negative messages about our lives, our society and our loved ones.
Sadly, the picture is not much better in many of today’s churches, were too often people are made to feel badly about themselves because they’re not modest enough, conforming enough, pious enough, regular enough in attending worship, giving enough to charity or the Church, “Straight” enough or perfect enough …
… to be welcomed into the Church
We see far too many churches and church leaders focusing very hard on who they can exclude, in order to protect their exclusive members’ club, rather than on who they can include, to grow it’s sense of family and community and also it’s numbers.
We see a very different picture in our Philemon reading this morning, and we see a very different example in the life of our Lord.
We have been given “Good News” after all!
We have been freely welcomed and should be freely welcoming all to share in that good news.
So back to our challenges…
How can we welcome, include, affirm and empower others, in order that they may reach their potential, rather than being dejected, rejected and excluded?

There is an old story that is told about an army (which is the actual collective noun for frogs!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_collective_nouns_by_collective_term_A-K ) of frogs that went hopping through the forest one day when two of the frogs suddenly fell into a deep pit. All of the other frogs gathered around the hole to look down on their two fallen comrades. They all began to sadly shake their heads and to croak out dismal warnings. “It’s too deep!” croaked one frog. Another frog croaked that there was no way that they would ever be able to get out of that pit alive.
The two fallen frogs began to continuously jump as they tried to get out of the pit, but the frogs that were watching kept croaking louder at them that they might as well stop because they were as good as dead and just wasting their time. One of the two frogs finally gave up and heeded the pessimistic advice of the frogs at the top. He quit leaping and literally “croaked” and died. The other frog just kept right on jumping and leaping harder than ever in spite of all the loud croaks of disapproval from the frogs around the top of the hole. They kept croaking shouts at him to quit jumping and save himself from all the pain and suffering he was incurring as he leaped and fell back down to the bottom of the pit over and over again. Finally, he jumped even harder than ever and to the surprise of all the other frogs he leaped right out of the deep pit. The other frogs asked him, “Why did you keep leaping even though we croaked and yelled at you to stop?” It was then that the frog explained to them that he was deaf and he had thought they were cheering for him and shouting words of encouragement to him the entire time!
Our words and actions have the power to help others to rise above where they are and achieve their full potential.
We need to not stop at what we can see, but rather to ask for the grace to see what each person’s God-given potential is. Then we have to WORK hard at keeping that up, because it can be easy to resort back to judging and belittling them when we don’t see them living up to their potential.
We need to remind ourselves of the grace we received, and of the fact that they are God’s beloved, perfect in His eyes.
The second challenge we had was how we, ourselves, could reach our potential.
This is, for many of us, a harder challenge, partly because we’re so accustomed to seeing our negative points. We’ve been conditioned to do so … it’s how businesses sell products to us.
So, it’s vital that we extend the same grace to ourselves, that we’ve just discussed extending to others.
We, too, are perfect in God’s eyes and perfectly loved.
We, too, need to realise this, ask for the grace to see this, and then ask for help to affirm this within ourselves.
And we could try spending a bit more time with people that affirm us, rather than those that judge us (making sure that we return the favour).
Amen

Good News for all the earth?

2007-09-04T15:52:00.001+01:00

This is a copy of my sermon from Sunday Last:

Gospel: Luke 14:1, 7-14

Interactive introduction (for a church set out with tables and chairs, rather than rows of seating - if church is in rows of seating, adapt as necessary):

Approach front table, and lay with plates and wine glasses. Pour Bucks Fizz (or sparkling wine / champagne, if your finances can support it) into the glasses. Light some candles. If you have any eats for them, lay those out as well.

Then ask the congregation whether or not they mind if you go ahead at that table, and that it's unfortunate that they weren't seated at that table. Tell them you only have enough for the one table, but you're sure they'll understand. Proceed with the celebrations at that table.

Talk:

· Ask the congregation how they felt when they realised they weren't going to receive the same treatment? Ask if they felt it was unfair or not?

· Then return to the pulpit (if you need to clear the table, you can do it here, or perhaps later on in the service, during the peace).

· I'd like to tell the story about a young girl. I'm not sure of the origins of the story ... I was given it in email many years ago.

It's the story of a little incident that took place in Mainz in 1456 when Gutenberg was printing the first printed Bible:

The printer had a little daughter, Alice, who came into the printing press and picked up a discarded sheet with only one line of print. That line of print read: "God loved the world so much that he gave..." Now, those were times when popular religion was a matter of living in fear and trembling before the awesome wrath of God. So Alice put the paper in her pocket and kept on thinking of the fact of God being so loving, and her face radiated with joy. Her mother noticed her changed behaviour and asked Alice what was making her so happy and Alice showed her mother the sheet of paper with the printed line. Her mother looked at it for some time and said, "So, what did God give?" "I don't know," said Alice, "but if God loved us well enough to give us anything, then that is enough - we need not be so afraid of Him."

· And that's the point!

· We're meant to share in and share 'Good News'

· God loves you and me so much that He gave ...

· And yet ... that's not currently the message that we see many Christians sending out!

· Something has gone fundamentally wrong with the Church, with a capital "C"

It's become more obsessed with moral policing, with who's in the "in" crowd and who's in the "out" crowd, than with telling people the Good News of God's love.
Gospel means Good News. In the modern Church, we don't have a Gospel anymore ... we have doctrine.

· IF the Church is the Body of Christ, then how does the world out there ... Joe & Jane Bloggs in the street, your neighbours, the youngsters in the pubs and clubs ... how do they see the Church?

· Well - we're forcing them to regress back to a medieval understanding of God as the big Eye in the sky, watching and judging everything that you do.

· The impression we're giving them, is that if you're married, with 2.5 children, which are all in faith schools, you have a mortgage, a good job (but only one of you - the other must stay home and parent), you tithe on your good income, you belong to a midweek Church group of some sort, you primarily listen to Gospel music, you don't swear and you own your own DVD copy of The Passion of the Christ ... then you're definitely in.

· While the contrast is also true: If you're very rich, you're out; if you're very poor, you're out; if you're divorced, you're out; if you're a single parent, you're out; if you drink or smoke or use any other substance, you're out; if you're gay / lesbian / trans-gendered / transsexual / transvestite / bisexual, you're definitely out; if we can't understand your accent, language or culture, you're out; if you're in any way mentally or physically different, you're out. There's no room in the Kingdom for your sort - God is perfect and does not tolerate imperfection.

· It's abhorrent, but sadly it is the image that far too many churches are sending out to the general public.

· (Directed at the people who were at the fortunate table) How did it feel when I was laying your table? (Directed at the rest of the congregation) And how did it feel when you realised you were not going to receive the same treatment?

· It may be helpful if you mentioned personal experiences relayed to you of people being kicked out of a church, or excluded, for some reason beyond their control - perhaps a beggar, a young person, a gay person, etc..

· And yet?!

· The life of Jesus tells us a VERY different story

He didn't spend time with the dogmatists, he didn't spend time with the legalists, and he didn't spend time with the socially comfortable, the pious or the acceptable...
He was out on the streets with the scorned, the excluded, the outcasts, and brought them inclusion, hope and love.

· That's why we call it a Gospel; because it's Good News

· And we're instructed to share Good News with people,

· NOT to turn God into a malicious playground monitor.

· That's what Jesus was about

· That's what our Gospel is about

· That's what our Faith is about

· That's what today's reading is about

· We are called to share the good news that all are welcome and that all are included.

· That's why we share communion - it's an opportunity for everyone to join in the meal around the table.

· I'd like to share the words of a poster I saw on the wall of an St Columba's House, in Woking, Surrey, UK:

Beware!!

Here we practise the inclusive Gospel of Jesus Christ!

This means you may be mixing with tax collectors, sinners, adulterers, hypocrites, Greeks, Jews, women as well as men, female and male priests, homosexuals, lesbians, the disabled, the dying, thieves and other sinners; even Black people, Asians and other ethnic minorities, Muslims, Bishops, bigots, people of other faiths, strangers from Rome and Nigeria, heretics, etc., etc..

And yes, even you, dear guest, are most welcome.

In fact, anyone like those who Jesus mixed with.

So beware! This is not a private club! Welcome to all!

· And so, let us close with the words of the hymn (which I know may be politically incorrect in it's use of the word 'men', but I simply quote as it was written):
"We have a Gospel to proclaim
Good news for men in all the earth ..."

· Amen

Delightful or diseased?

2007-08-30T11:11:00.000+01:00

Now I'm not one to begin a campaign against rodents. It's not their fault they have to live outside and rummage for food, and I've always said it's not their fault that they helped spread the plague ... it was humans that were throwing shit in the streets, and giving the rats the disease to spread.

I think rodents are cute, and peace-loving.

When I moved in, I had two rats living in my garden, which were quite fun to watch. They scurry in and out of the bramble and collect as much fruit as they can, so I guess they're kinda helping me with the gardening. And, as my garden has treasures untold growing beneath the mammoth bramble patch (in addition to the apple tree, greengage tree, strawberry patch and grapevine, who knows what's in there), they live on a healthy diet of fresh fruit and veg. As a result, their coats are in fabulous condition and they seem happy and healthy and never bother me.

The thing that's concerning me of late is that the cute couple have done one of the inevitable things that rats do ... they've multiplied (again, we can't blame for this ... they've never been offered birth control). I seem to have a good deal more rats than when I moved in.

In some ways, they're entertaining to watch ... fighting with the crows over the fallen fruit, bouncing through the tall grass, clamouring up the Holly Hocks to eat the seeds; but in other ways, I'm concerned about a population boom. 2 rats have become at least 6 rats ... does that mean that in a few month's time, 6 rats will become at least 36 rats?

Hmmmm...

Oh well, I leave u with this parting shot of one of the clever little blighter's looking at you from the top of one of my Holly Hocks.

Communication, theology, science fiction and cappuccinos...

2007-08-30T11:02:00.000+01:00

I've spent a load of time in recent weeks, catching up with old friends (thanks to the wonder of facebook!).

I had Gayle, a friend from school days, come and stay with me last weekend. She's lived in the U.K. for years, but we lost contact shortly after school ... probably because of the fact that both of us reckoned the other one would no longer wish to be in contact ... I assumed that Gayle was probably completely uninterested in remaining in contact with me, because she was going out and pubbing and clubbing, and I worked for the Church. She may have assumed that as I worked for the Church, I would no longer want to maintain contact with her. We used to be Sunday School teachers together when we were kids. Anyway, through Facebook, we got in touch again, and discovered that we were probably more similar than we gave the other credit for, and had a good weekend catching up on all the news. The strange reality surfaced when we were having coffee at Starbucks in Borders, and I suddenly realised that Gayle had picked up a number of Theology books to read, and I was reading Science Fiction while checking out the eye candy at the next table.

I got in touch with another friend via facebook, one of the people I prepared for Confirmation. Again, I wasn't too sure if he'd be interested in chatting, as I was his Youth Pastor. Anyway, he was grateful that I started chatting, and as it turns out, him and his dad were chatting about me earlier that same day ... LOL. In the end, he's come out the closet as well. Which is really funny, because at the time, I thought he may be gay, and I really wish I'd had the courage to offer him a listening ear about it, when he needed it most, but I was too scared to broach the topic. At the same time, I was really struggling with being gay myself, and he says he wish I'd told him, so that he could've offered me a listening ear. He's a few years younger than me, but still ... having someone to chat to would've been good. As it turns out, we've both been through the fire since ... me being removed from post in Port Elizabeth and having Eddie spreading rumours about me and making false accusations about me, while I was struggling with all my identity issues and grappling with who I was, and him struggling with coming out and all his identity issues surrounding that. It would've made things a helluva lot easier for both of us, had either of us had the courage to initiate that conversation. Needless to say, we didn't, and each of us coped on our own ... but for both of us it was touch and go for a while, as it so often is for gay people ... the struggle with identity, the struggle with acceptance, the struggle with ostracisation, the struggle with thoughts of suicide, the struggle with guilt. How much better it would be if people were able to communicate their struggles openly.

Finally, Stuey and I finally sat down the other evening and had a long chat about my frustrations about the cruise. He assumed I was blaming him for not wanting to come, and couldn't understand why I was upset at having to pay for my dad's ticket to fly over, when it was my choice. I told him that - although I'm excited about my dad flying over to join me, I didn't envisage the expense and couldn't really afford it, and that the expense wasn't my choice ... it was unavoidable. We also sat down last night for the first time in a long time, and had a long chat about his new job. I've not really seen him and he's not been replying to my texts during the day, or replying to calls, and he missed a supper we'd had planned the other night. He shared how they're not allowing him lunch hours, and expecting him to be at work by 7 in the morning, and to finish after 7 at night. He shared how they won't allow him to take leave between April and August, and how they're forcing him to take 2 weeks' leave over Christmas, how their products seem to be endlessly breaking down, how - after a month - they still have not produced a contract for him, and so on and so on. So, he's not been able to reply because he's not getting a break. We spoke about what he's going to do, and then snuggled a while. My poor baby.

So it is really all down to communication. The sooner we all learn to communicate, the more openly and honestly we encourage others to communicate and the more openly and honestly we communicate ... the better.

Reflections on pride ...

2007-08-08T11:58:00.001+01:00

OK ... so being something of a 'late developer', Saturday's Brighton Pride was my first Pride Parade, even though I've been in the UK now for 5 years. I've normally been working for every other Pride Parade (in every other city in the UK).

I knew it'd be fun, which it was, but it had such a warm community feel to it, as well. It felt like an entire town, and it's residents and businesses and institutions, gathering to celebrate the diversity of life. People came out with their kids, their babies in push-chairs, their parents and grandparents.

In the parade, there were commercial floats, community floats, religious community floats (from the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement, the Quakers and the Salvation Army), floats by the forces and the emergency services ... and it was a wonderful celebration of the diversity of life and of acknowledging each other's differences, yes, but it was more than that ... it was celebrating similarities ... we're all in this together. It was great.

Although few, it was particularly great to witness some religious input into the parade. Well done to the Salvation Army, Metropolitan Community Church, the Quakers and the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement. I'm glad that at least some people have realised that the Gospel is 'Good News'. There are way too many organisations and movements that are focused on belittling people, undermining their humanity and mocking the wonder and diversity of God's creation, by trying to force people to comply to their limited understanding of religion, and not enough people attempting to include people in the spreading of 'Good News'! We are, after all, called to share the Love of Jesus Christ with the world, not to exclude and judge.

So, hats off to all those from religious communities that marched in Brighton on Saturday, and to those that march in other parades world-wide. I really should look at joining them.
I'll include a selection of photographs.

Taraaa, and stay fabulous!

Look at all the people in Preston Park!

And some very theological accessories

How long did he collect feathers for?

I love the fruity hat!

The fire brigade ... fabulous!

It says, "We feel that the quality and depth of feeling between two people is the most important part of a loving relationship, not their gender or sexual orientation. http://www.quaker.org.uk/ " Hooray for the Quakers! ;)

The Metropolitan Community Church float

The Lesbian and Gay Christians and their friends. Praying for an inclusive Church, indeed!

Floating homes ...

2007-07-30T19:45:00.001+01:00

With flooding like we've seen in the U.K., and extensive flooding in China ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/6922369.stm ) and South Africa ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6923036.stm ), which have kinda lost out locally to news of our own flooding, i'm beginning to think this guy has the right idea:

Giancarlo Zema and his design group are working on yachts and floating homes that have submersed viewing rooms, can be linked together to form communities and can generate their own electricity and operate on hydrogen fuel cells. The yachts are named the Trilobis 65 ( http://www.sub-find.com/trilobis65.htm and http://www.sub-find.com/interview.htm ), and the smaller and slightly more affordable homes are called the Jelly-fish 45 ( http://www.sub-find.com/jellyfish.htm ). You can read more about them by looking on his design group website and looking under 'Products' ( http://www.giancarlozema.com/ ).

On the left, the Trilobis 65, and on the right, the Jelly-Fish 45.

However, people in my income bracket may just need to resort to swimming home, and sleeping on a floating desk. ;o) I guess I could add it to my Amazon Wishlist. I could happily make do with the Jellyfish. ;o)

July Flooding 2007 UK

2007-07-28T23:53:00.001+01:00

I decided to mow the lawn today, despite the clouds overhead. They weren't too dark, so I figured I may have enough time to go over the lawn once with the mower (it normally takes two goes to get it short enough).

I had a bit of drizzle after the first pass, but decided to soldier on and managed to finish both front and back lawns and trim a few bushes (no lewd comments from the peanut gallery).

When I put the tools away, the rain started falling ... again. I love a good rainfall ... in fact LOVE a good rainfall ... I find it much more pleasant than sunshine. It's cleaning, refreshing and a thoroughly pleasant experience.

I've always said that the U.K. has had nothing but warm, sunny, African weather. I've never really experienced cold and wet England. Naturally, the Brits always complain about the weather, but it's like this ... the sun can shine for 3 months, and then it'll rain for 3 days, and everyone will say how wet the UK ALWAYS is, and they'll talk about that 3 days rainfall for the next 3 months.

However, for once, even I am thinking it'd be time for a break from the rain. It feels like it's been raining for months.

So I'll put a bit about the flooding here, for all my friends and family in S.A. who've seen a little about the flooding in the U.K., and think it's bad in a few small areas. It's not ... it's devastating, and has affected massive chunks of the country.

But, I hasten to add that that's not typical English weather, either. In fact, it's rained more in June and July than it ever has in the U.K.. We've had the most rainfall since records began.

The devastating thing, of course, is that some areas were under severe flooding in June, and didn't really get a chance to recover before the flooding in July hit. By all accounts, July's flooding is no worse, but it's affected a massive chunk of the U.K., with something like 450,000 homes being evacuated, people not having any fresh water supplies, homes without electricity, people being killed by th efloodwaters, roads and bridges being washed away, ground being washed away from underneath railway lines. The damage is into several billion pounds (and counting).

Southampton is fairly safe, and I think my friends and family in the U.K. are fairly safe. The worst side-effect I've suffered is my plants growing uncontrollably, like something out of "Little shop of horrors," hence my keenness to mow the lawn today.

So, would the person that pushed the jet stream down South, please take it back? We need a bit of time to recover.

One of the people I work with raised the interesting question about which nations were going to send aide to the U.K. ... as the pressure seems to be on the U.K. to send aide to every other nation in difficulty. It's an interesting question.

Anyway ... I found a video on YouTube about the flooding, which you can take a look at.

Take care

Free gifts?!

2007-07-23T14:14:00.001+01:00

I got into work this morning, to discover some 'kind' soul had sent me a free book. My own view is that items that are given to you for free are often worth the money you paid for them, and that people who give you free books are generally the type of people who believe that they have something worth saying, not necessarily the type of people who actually have something worth saying.

Well ... the book came in an unmarked envelope, with no return address, no letter ... nothing. We're off to a winning start. Then I opened the envelope, and discovered a book, titled, "Heaven. Close Encounters of the God kind," by Dr. Jesse Duplantis. Oh good ... someone sent me a comedy.

I took the book to a colleage, and we sat reading it, discovering it to indeed be a comedy ... we laughed so much, I couldn't speak and she was practically on the floor.

It's hilarious. Naturally, he's from the deep South, and naturally, whenever he sees God or goes to Heaven, there's never anyone else there to see it. But, there are some interesting undercurrents ... he's always visited by male figures, who are always tall and handsome and powerful, and often blonde, and a lot of the visitations happen at night. I think therein may lie some of the real reason for all his visions. A good laugh. LOL!

I'll put a few of the best opening snippets here.
___________________________________________________________________
"Popcorn Came Flying Out of That Steering Wheel!"

Now it's an amazing thing the way God knows how to prove things. As the car flipped over, and the steering wheel broke in my hand, up out of that steering wheel, I saw popcorn coming! Then, Bam! That popcorn started hitting me! I said, "Ohhh, look at this popcorn," just flipping.
When I came to a stop, I tried to get out of the vehicle as best I could, but I was jammed inside it, hanging upside-down. Thank God there wasn't a fire during that wreck. I could have been burned alive!
People stopped to help.
The car had to be cut open with a welding torch before I could be pulled free from it. Then I was put into an ambulance and rushed to hospital.
I kept hollering, "There was popcorn in there! Popcorn!" I said, "Listen! Somebody grabbed me! Somebody's hand was on my shoulder! I would have died otherwise. I was flying."
My mom and dad were called from the hospital. When I got on the phone, I said, "Mama, I've been in this accident."
Amazingly, she had driven right by that accident, but she didn't know I was in the ambulance she saw going the other way. She had said to my dad, "There was a terrible accident. Let's pray to God no one died."
After finding out I was okay, she asked, "Did you feel anything in that car?"
I said, "Mama, popcorn came flying out of the steering wheel!"
That went right over her head, and she said, "Besides that."
"Mama, I felt like somebody had grabbed my shoulder."
Immediately she said, "That was the tidal wave of the blood covenant in the dream I had the other night! God was protecting you! He was holding you down in that car so you wouldn't die and go to hell! You had better thank God that I'm praying for you, boy!"

___________________________________________________________________

We were just about wetting ourselves. Who is this guy? Can someone from the Beeb interview him about that popcorn? Whatever substance he's on, I want some ... popcorn coming out the steering wheel ... brilliant!!

Or, how about this snippet ... he was asked to stop in at hospital in Lafayette, Louisiana, to pray for a guy's daughter, and he drove there from Monroe, Louisiana (oh yeah ... did I mention he's from the South in the States? Figures ... LOL!) ... a distance of about 180 miles.

___________________________________________________________________

I Had Been Translated!

Then I started thinking about my trip, trying to figure out what happened. There I was in Lafayette! You can't get from Monroe, Louisiana, to Lafayette, Louisiana, in only thirty minutes. It can hardly be done by jet, much less by car.

"Listen, brother," I said, "I'll see you later. I've got to go."

He was crying, "Thank you, Brother Jesse!" (I found out afterward that he checked his little girl out of the hospital two hours later.)

Then it began to register on me what had happened, so I called my wife. I had talked with her right before I left my friend's office in Monroe. This time she said to me, "Hey, where are you?"

"Cathy, I'm at a pay phone in Lafayette. Look at your watch."

Then she said, "You really made good time, honey. Well, hurry on home."

I wanted to scream, "Listen, woman, and hear what I'm saying!" Then I wanted God to zap me again, so that before she could even hang up the phone, I would be home. (But He didn't do it!)

When it dawned on me that I had been translated, I thought, If I've been translated, then I didn't burn any gas. When I turned on the ignition switch, I watched as the fuel gauge went all the way to full! I just cried out, "Oh God!"

___________________________________________________________________

I wonder if this is a viable way of lowering our carbon footprint?

It's amazing, isn't it, how this guy is translated, visits heaven, speaks to God, has God visit him in his bedroom at night, but never with any eye-witnesses. He is yet another self-proclaimed prophet, claiming that his writing and account is valid, because he says it's valid.

He does repeatedly get to see really tall, handsome, blonde men, though. In fact, there's a lot of mention of men visiting him, and speaking about wonder and desire. I wonder if there's some message in that.

LOL ... so thank you to whomever sent me the book. I haven't laughed that much in a while.

King of England and Bishop of Oxford

2007-07-16T12:36:00.001+01:00

So, last night I had three dreams:

In the first, I was crowned the new King of England. I had a hard time initially, with people who wondered whether I had the necessary skills because I was too young, and with people who wondered what my history was and where I came from. However, that passed eventually, and I was having fun exploring round the palace, and getting to grips with the many rooms (also finding those which the palace staff preferred me not to be in, because it disrupted their work). In my dream, I had graciously agreed to let the Queen stay in residence as long as she liked because she had the flu, and I thought it'd be better if she recovered in a stable environment (I also thought it would be useful to have Her Majesty about to offer advice).
In my second dream, I was enthroned as the Bishop of Oxford. The only bit of this dream I remember, is the actual service where the outgoing Bishop of Oxford announced this, and was handing over several duties to me. This one wasn't as nice as the first, and I was faced with several upset and angry people who didn't know that the previous Bishop was leaving.
In my third dream, I was capable of leaping at least 30 feet into the air, over distances of 100 yards or greater. It was a fairly new skill, as I was still experimenting with it, and was amazed by how easily I was able to land on my feet again and keep going. It was no more difficult than walking, and no more strenuous. I was just beginning to get the hang of it, and starting to have fun with it, but then I woke up.

I guess the question is, "which one of the three dreams would be the nicest one to have true?" I remember as the King of England (I keep wanting to say Queen), I was overjoyed that I would have enough accommodation to give my parents and brother somewhere nice to stay, but that same thought didn't really occur to me as the Bishop of Oxford. I wasn't aware of any of the duties involved in being Monarch, but I guess I hadn't progressed far enough in the dream ... I was still in a honeymoon period, and getting used to the palace, before my first official press conference.

Although leaping high and far sounds a neat trick, it kind of irritated me in the dream, and it was a chore to try and get used to it.

LOL ... the oddity of it all...

London underground dinner party

2007-07-13T18:59:00.001+01:00

LOL ... this is awesome. Takes a serious amount of balls to sit on the Tube and do this.
Well done to them!

I AM WHAT I AM

2007-07-13T00:22:00.001+01:00

So this morning, in a deanery meeting, we were discussing how the Church caters for people from the deaf community.

The chaplain to the deaf community was saying how sometimes we got it right, like in the past when the Church was the first and the only place offering education and training in British Sign Language and lip reading for the deaf community. But there have also been (and sadly, still are) times when we've gotten it wrong. He shared that one of the deaf community ... a committed and deeply devoted Christian woman of immense faith, was almost forced by a congregation to be prayed for, because in their eyes, she was imperfect. In their eyes, because she couldn't hear, she was not a perfect creation of God's, and she needed to be healed.

It sounds so familiar ... like the Church's initial response to broken marriages, or the Church's initial response to slavery, or the Church's initial response to people of colour, or the Church's initial response to disabled people, or the Church's initial response to women. Most of those we've moved beyond (although sadly not everywhere).

It reminded me how the Church so often gets it so very wrong, and of the damage it does to those individuals who are being made to believe that they are less than perfect; that for some reason God didn't create them as perfect as the person who's telling them how imperfect they are.

Which reminded me of the Church's response to gay people, and reminded me what a deep injustice that is, and how - please God - one day they will repent, and welcome all people into the Church as the equals that they are.

So, in lieu of that, here's a link to a song from Dame Shirley Bassey, a true icon of fabulousness!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=CYxjAEIHzQQ

Click it and listen and celebrate what and who you are ... you are exactly as God created you to be, and to God, you are perfect!

Thought for the day?!

2007-07-05T00:22:00.000+01:00

I've been asked to put together a thought for the day ... which in itself is no big deal.

The trick is, I've been asked to put together a thought for the day for a secular group on a staff away day. That's a little less straight forward, because I suddenly need to be aware of all sorts of policies about inclusivity and equality. I can't even poke fun at my faith, in case someone else takes offence at it. And so, here I sit, at 00h30 (after the pc crashed @ 00h10), none the wiser.

I thought perhaps I should say something briefly about the latest attempted bombings in Glasgow and London, addressing the dangers of extremists, using the name of religion to excuse their own violent agendas. But then thought that that was potentially rather meaty and depressing for 09h00 in the morning.

Then, I thought that perhaps I should address the issue of the whole rebalancing that the institution is undergoing, with several staff posts being designated as 'at risk', but that wouldn't be fair to them if they were there, and people would probably want to forget about it anyway.

There is, of course, the growing and desperately important problem of climate change and global warming, but as I have no answer - only tips - that's not that great an idea either.

Then I thought that perhaps those are all a bit dark and sombre first thing in the morning, anyway, and perhaps people need to relax and have a bit of a giggle, but as I mentioned above - it's difficult to know what you can joke about, without risking offending someone. I was going to read the opening chapter from 'The Bible According to Spike Milligan', but am not entirely convinced.

So, I'll mull it over a while longer, or maybe just head to bed, unconvinced and unprepared (I hate that).

What I did find, however, was a really nice blog or article from a reformed homophobe. Take a look at http://anitra.net/activism/glbt/sodom-essay.html . It's so refreshing to find someone that isn't gay, that acknowledges that they were wrong and helps promote the truth. It's a really good, thought-provoking and intelligent read, and I commend her. When it's not the middle of the night, I may write and thank her for her insights.

I give up ... if anyone has any suggestions on a "thought for the day" for a staff away day for people of mixed cultures and faiths in a secular institution, please comment below ... there are bound to be more (unless I make a royal cock-up of tomorrow, in which case I'm off the hook in the future).

Smoke-free Compliance Line

2007-07-03T10:46:00.000+01:00

At the risk of opening myself up for abuse from every smoker who reads this, I thought I'd post the telephone numbers for the National Smoke-free Compliance Line.

If you're in an enclosed public place, or a public vehicle and someone is smoking, they're breaking the law; ring the number.

To those smokers who have thoughtfully stubbed out or moved away when they've noticed someone struggling with their second-hand smoke, thank you ... I have the world of respect for you.

To the other smokers, I am unfortunately expecting to need to use the numbers.

As far as I can make out, there are two numbers for the National Smoke-free Compliance Line: 0800 587 1667 and 0845 300 2525 .
Obviously the 0800 one is a free number.

Train companies are just taking liberties and robbing us ...

2007-07-02T15:00:00.001+01:00

Had to go into London for a conference on Friday. The cost of the ticket
was £60 for a return with travelcard. £60!!!! That was their peak time
price (which I had to use, because of the starting time of the conference),
but I read that they're raising the price of off-peak travel by 30%,
because too many people are beginning to travel in off-peak periods
(clearly, they're missing the message there!)

It would've been cheaper to travel by car! How are we supposed to make
green decisions, when we do so at the risk of bankruptcy? On top of that,
the train was 90 minutes late.

The price of rail fares is going through the roof, while rail service goes
through the floor.

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/trainfares/

Citroen C3 electrical fault

2007-06-26T16:10:00.001+01:00

Ok ... so it has taken an absolute age for me to upload this video, but it's up now, nevertheless.

I thought there was still some merit in me posting it, if only as a warning to potential Citroen customers. You could get a good car, but you could just as easily end up with a dud, and they won't be prepared to compensate you for it.

purchased a Citroen C3 from Wyatt Concorde in November 2003, and shortly thereafter encountered this electrical problem. In 12 months, she went in for 14 electrical repairs, with no success.
They couldn't locate the problem, and even suggested that it was my overspeed warning, which you get when you activate the speed monitor ... however, I informed them that the car was stationary and the ignition key in my hand ... that confused them even more.
I gave in sending the car in eventually, and to date, the problem persists and they have no clue and haven't offered any compensation either.

Brooklands Centenary - 16/17 June 2007

2007-06-25T16:15:00.001+01:00

On the weekend of 16 and 17 June, Brooklands celebrated their centenary. Brooklands is the world's first purpose-built motor-racing track.

"Because Brooklands was the world's first purpose-built motor-racing circuit there were no previous examples to follow. To begin with, many of the rules and procedures were based on horse racing in order to try and attract a ready made audience to this new and somewhat curious sporting venue.

In addition to the unique banked curves, features of the new motor course included the distinctive green-domed Clubhouse complete with a weighbridge for cars and changing rooms for competitors.The Grand Opening On the 17th June 1907 after just nine months of work the still unfinished Brooklands Motor Course was opened - this outstanding feat of engineering having eventually cost Hugh Locke King a personal fortune of £150,000, a price equal to millions of pounds today. The first official race, on 6th July 1907, was heralded by the motoring press as a 'Motor Ascot'." (extract from http://www.brooklandsmuseum.com/history_thetrack.cfm )

Stuey, having trained in classic car restoration, was keen to go. I, always keen to look at beautiful engineering (cars, planes, trains, ships, yachts ... the category doesn't matter), was keen to go too, and so we booked tickets.

It was a fantastic day, with loads and loads of gorgeous old cars, steam engines, bicycles and motorbikes, all from the era when Brooklands operated as a race course.

Below are some of the photos we took on the day.

Cohesion in the Community

2007-06-25T15:33:00.000+01:00

Went on a cohesion conference, arranged by Southampton City Council, on Friday. The title of the conference was 'Developing cohesion in diverse communities'.

I do need to add that I wasn't that keen, having just spent two days out of the office, on Extenuating Circumstances panels, but I was glad I did go. Ted Cantle, the keynote speaker, was brilliant and informative regarding cohesion in communities as a whole, and also what was happening nationally.

I had chosen to attend the 'Understanding faith and cohesion' workshop in the morning, which was good, but I probably got more out of the afternoon session I had chosen, 'Cohesion and young people'.

The afternoon workshop was run by a group called Peacemakers, who started in Oldham, with a simple aim, "... to create opportunities for young people to meet and befriend other people from different communities and ethnicities. These youngsters used their informal networks and youth club contacts to try and promote a climate of multicultural growth in their hometown," (taken from their webpage). It helps young people to focus on commonalities, rather than differences, and encourages them to establish a common British identity ... something we don't often see nowadays, with so many people focusing on and promoting differences.

What they were doing was so simple and so refreshing and in line with what I've thought for ages: you can't force people to share personal information and hope that they will establish relationships as a result ... you need to provide people with the opportunities to establish relationships, and as a result they will share personal information, and eventually ... life. It was good to see how much of an impact they had made, and were making, and how that was being recognised and empowered.

One of the successes of their programme is that they empower the young people of the communities they get involved in to continue with the programme, and so the initiative continues to live on beyond when they leave.

Take a look at their website (although it may take a while if you don't have broadband, as a lot of it is flash with animation and video).

I did also have a brief chat with someone from the Royal South Hants hospital about their current and future building work, and offered some advice on the reordering of their chapel ... hopefully a resource we can keep in the area.

And so, all in all, although it was another day out of the office, it was useful and inspiring.

I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps ...

2007-05-29T14:15:00.000+01:00

New York, New York (and a few days in Washington DC) ;o)

And so, a few thoughts about NYC & DC, and I guess I'm overdue posting a few photo's.

We had an awesome time ...

We walked Manhattan flat - exploring Soho, Tribeca, Noho, Little Italy, Chinatown, Greenwich Village, the Financial District, Hell's Kitchen, Broadway, the Garment District and more;
We walked the Brooklyn Bridge (and had Sundaes from the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory, facing Manhattan);
We did several arranged tours - a walking tour of Art Deco buildings and features, the open-top bus tours of Uptown, Downtown, Brooklyn and the night lights, a helicopter tour of Manhattan and Liberty and Ellis Islands, a Circle Line boat cruise around Manhattan and Ellis and Liberty and Governor Islands;
We took the Staten Island ferry;
We took the Roosevelt Tramway;
We saw a Broadway show (Avenue Q ... which was awesome - & just a little risque ... in a good way, challenging stereotypes and the obsession with political correctness);
We had supper at Lips Drag Club (which was a brilliant laugh, so we did it twice! Ginger and the rest of the girls took great care of us and were fabulous hostesses). Look them up on 2 Bank Street - best to make a reservation, because tables can be quite hard to come by);
We had supper in a Mars-themed restaurant (Mars 2112, where the tables were placed in the 'crater' and our hostess was the Empress Gloriana);
We cycled through central park;
We went to the top of the Rockefeller and Empire State Buildings;
We visited the Museum of Modern Art, the Museum of Natural History, the Museum of Sex, the Public Library, and the Guggenheim Museum;
We got to grips with the New York Subway;
We tracked down a South African Restaurant (i-Shebeen Madiba) in Brooklyn and had supper there, which was awesome;
We supported several Starbucks outlets;
We explored Grand Central Station (their stations seem fabulous, with great big food courts and shopping malls ... great places to spend some time and have a meal);
We explored the Christopher Street piers and had lunch there;
We had lunch at the Empire Diner on our first evening there;
We visited several stores and outlets (FAO Schwartz {and yes, I had a photo taken on the keyboard from "BIG"}, Tiffany's, Macy's, Bloomingdales, Century 21, Daffy's, the Audi Showroom, A&F, the Hershey's store, Old Navy, and several others), and did make some use of the good exchange rate;
We did visit Ground Zero (bit odd, because it's really a building site, and there'll only really be something to 'visit' when they complete the building and have the new buildings and memorial).

My highlights were cycling in Central Park, supper at Lips Drag Club, supper in the South African restaurant, the Empire State and Rockefeller and Chrysler buildings, the helicopter tour, the Roosevelt Tramway, Grand Central station, the Avenue Q show and the Brooklyn Bridge.

The only difficult things to put up with were the crowds of people, the incessant hooting and the rather over-ripe aroma hanging over the streets from all the heaps of rubbish left out for collection.

I'd love to go back, because even after having spent about 11 days in New York, there's obviously still more to see. It's an interesting city, with a very mixed cultural feel.

Here are some photo's of New York:

View from the top of the Rockefeller buidling

Walking over the Brooklyn Bridge

Posing with the girls from Lips

Cycling through Central Park

Inside the South African Restaurant - "i-Shebeen Madiba"

Washington was also great, but a very different city. It's extremely clean, none of the vibe and dynamism of New York, and it seems to be where all armed forces employees go on holiday. All the monuments are interesting (and there are LOADS of them).

My friend Max was with us for a big chunk of our Washington stay, and showed us around the city, and helped us thin out what we needed to see. We did the Mall, seeing all the monuments en route, and explored Georgetown a little as well. I did find myself 'monumented out' on occasion, and wonder about whether the sheer volume of monuments is necessary ... it almost seems like a Victorian attitude to death. But, aside from that, the monuments are beautiful, and some of them on terrific architectural scales.

The highlights from Washington, for me, are the Whitehouse, Arlington Cemetary, the Washington Monument, the Reflecting Pool, Union Station and Georgetown.

Stuey & me in front of the White House

A view of the Mall and the Capitol building from the top of the Washington Monument

Interesting to be back at work, where New York and Washington DC seem like a distant memory, rather than 2 weeks ago, and where it already feels like I need a holiday. ;o)

Catherine Tate - Translator

2007-05-28T18:03:00.001+01:00

And so to the wind with political correctness! ;o)

Nature provides more proof that being gay is natural and that gay parenting is good!!

2007-05-25T16:49:00.001+01:00

Gay flamingos pick up chick
AFP - Monday, May 21 05:03 pm

LONDON (AFP) - A pair of gay flamingos have adopted an abandoned chick, becoming parents after being together for six years, a British conservation organisation said Monday.

Carlos and Fernando had been desperate to start a family, even chasing other flamingos from their nests to take over their eggs at the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust (WWT) in Slimbridge near Bristol.

But their egg-sitting prowess made them the top choice for taking an unhatched egg under their wings when one of the Greater Flamingo nests was abandoned.

The couple, together for six years, can feed chicks by producing milk in their throats.

"Fernando and Carlos are a same sex couple who have been known to steal other flamingos' eggs by chasing them off their nest because they wanted to rear them themselves," said WWT spokeswoman Jane Waghorn.

"They were rather good at sitting on eggs and hatching them so last week, when a nest was abandoned, it seemed like a good idea to make them surrogate parents."

Gay flamingos are not uncommon, she added. "If there aren't enough females or they don't hit it off with them, they will pair off with other males," she said.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20070521/tod-britain-animals-gay-6058bda.html

Cheaper small cars!!!

2007-05-21T19:19:00.001+01:00

Just back from the US. One of the things that struck me there was the price of cars.

The Americans can import a car from Europe, it's converted to have the steering wheel on the right hand side, and it's still 66% of the price we pay in the U.K.!!

The other thing that irks me is that everyone's crying for us to lower our carbon emissions. I already walk most places, as I live city-centre, but some trips require the use of my car. As a person who often drives alone, I would love to be able to buy a smaller car, thereby lowering my carbon footprint. However, when you look at buying a smaller car, you discover that they're more expensive than their larger counterparts. eg. I drive a Citroen C3 ... a viable small family car, but quite large for a lone occupant. However, a C2 is more expensive, and the C1 is more expensive still.

How can we seriously lower our carbon footprints, while we're overcharged for ethical purchasing?

If you live in the U.K., sign the following petition:

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/cheapersmallcars/

Ships, flowers & friends

2007-05-02T00:08:00.001+01:00

So there're only just over 3 more days to go till Stuey & I fly out for our holiday in New York & Washington. Can't wait. We're booked in some pretty cool hotels, and the locations are brilliant, too. We'll probably spend our first 7 nights in NYC doing all the touristy things, and the same in Washington for the next 3 nights, and then try and relax when we're back in NYC for our final 4 nights (particularly as our last hotel has a roof terrace, and a gym & spa across the road! ;o)

Anyway ... I FINALLY got round to uploading some of the photo's off my new digital camera.

Here're two cool ones from my garden (don't ask me to name the flowers):

And one of the Liberty of the Seas in Southampton Port on 24 April 2007:

Oh yeah ... our Student Support department went for Matrix Assessment last week, and we aced it!!! So, now we have the Matrix accreditation, and can boast about it, but also it helps all senior managers to recognise how hard people are working in the Student Support department.

Other than that ... things @ work still going gr8. The things I'm doing are still necessary and hugely appreciated, and I'm still feeling purpose, direction, and a sense that I can contribute meaningfully. Things with Stuey are gr8.

In short, I'm LOVING life in Southampton!!

Have an awesome time!

Phenomenal Car Art

2007-04-22T00:27:00.000+01:00

How awesome is this?

This guy does artwork in the dust on car's rear windscreens. And they only take about 45 minutes. That's phenomenal! Such a pleasant change from someone scrawling, "Wish my wife was as dirty as this..."

Take a look

His website is here

Would Jesus Discriminate??

2007-04-21T23:46:00.000+01:00

At last!! Someone with the courage to stand up and be counted, when there are so many boosting their image of self through the hatred of others, affirming their own self-righteousness, rather than affirming others and welcoming them into the Kingdom.

I found this online, at http://www.towleroad.com/2007/04/indianapolis_to.html

Now, before you grab your rosaries, and sharpen your wooden stakes, take a look at the website, even if just out of interest's sake.

My own answer to the question in the title is, "No, I don't believe He would. In a life that was all about accepting the unacceptable, loving those that society cast out, and standing side-by-side with the outcasts, I think Jesus would've loved and accepted gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, transgenders and everyone in-between."

Google Maps Directions from New York to London

2007-04-18T14:26:00.001+01:00

Take a look at these map directions to get from New York to London. LOL.
I'd suggest some preparation before attempting Step 23. ;o)

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=d&hl=en&saddr=new+york&daddr=london&sll=53.098145,-2.443696&sspn=6.571699,18.017578&layer=&ie=UTF8&z=2&om=1

Petition for cheaper small cars

2007-04-17T16:18:00.001+01:00

Hey hey

I took a bash at drawing up a petition on the PM's website, asking Mr Tony
Blair to address the issue of expensive small cars in the UK (with most
small cars being more expensive than larger models from the same
manufacturer).

Now waiting to see what happens. If you fancy joining the online
petition, at 10 Downing Street's own website, go to

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/cheapersmallcars/

Take care

Just Jinjer

2007-04-14T16:51:00.001+01:00

Awesome song by a South African band, Just Jinjer ... about accepting others, regardless of colour, creed, race and lifestyle.

It asks important questions, and more importantly, acknowledges that our job is to love ... the job of judging belongs to God, not us!

The lyrics start with the following:
___________________________
If there is grace in this world
If there is light on this earth
Let us use it
Let us see it
Starting right now ...

Can we be down with ourselves
Respectful and mindful of one
of one another
yr significant other
yr sister, yr brother

Peace, love, more tolerance
Faith, hope, trust in the same name of God...

Peace, love, more tolerance
Faith, Hope, Trust in the same God
whose name we die for, take an innocent life for...
That's not what He means ...
and it doesnt' matter what book you read...
_____________________________
Listen to the rest...

An education in evil plants!!

2007-04-12T14:55:00.001+01:00

As I'm not the world's most keen gardener (I love nature and plants ... just not looking after them ... if it can't fend for itself - including keep itself tidy - I don't want it in my garden), I thought I'd share some views on evil plants!

Top of the list is a plant that is currently trying to take over my garden and uproot my garage, the ...

[drumroll please]

Japanese Knotweed!!

[woman screaming in the distance]

This evil spawn grows through solid concrete, up to a height of 8 feet, with roots several metres deep, and as fast as you cut it down, it grows back. It laughs in the face of weed killers. You can't dispose of it in your waste or at the tip in, the U.K., either ... it has to be treated as bio-hazardous waste!

However, if you're feeling like taking on a foliage devil, it does make a satisfying popping noise when you burn it ... like little fire-crackers!

For more information, take a look at http://www.cabi-bioscience.org/html/japanese_knotweed_alliance.htm

Insanely, at the bottom of that page, they have a link to a site that gives photos and recipes ... apparently the evil critter's full of vitamin C, and tastes like rhubarb! So, if anyone fancies trying a bit of knotweed crumble, or fancies taking on this fire-breathing monstrosity of faunatical evil, let me know.

Second from the top of my list is the evil Birch tree. If you've ever lived with a house in close proximity of one, you'll know what I mean. Try having one in the front garden, and two in the back.

They throw down tons of waste all year round. You get the little seeds EVERYWHERE (including creeping through closed windows), branches on roofs and cars, leaves all over the place, and sap on your car. It's a complete cycle of Birch offal ... for the whole year. It pollutes everything you own ... every square millimetre. The Birch tries to infiltrate your house, propagate itself, and ruin every possession you have. It's vindictive and destructive and it tries to uproot your foundations, as well.

I tried for 3 years to find a natural enemy to the Birch, but none was to be found. If you try to get permission to cut the offenders down, you discover they're protected!! THEY'RE protected!!! You can have your house destroyed, spend every waking moment picking up after the selfish, thoughtless things, and have your car's paintwork irreparably damaged, but they get protected. Cunning stunt!

I don't see why they can't be sent back to the evil pit they climbed out of, and replaced with a nice, shady tree that doesn't wreck property and cause aggravation.

So what plants are good? Peaceful plants. I would love a pebble and pot garden, maybe with a patch of moss somewhere near a water feature (moss is green, soft, and doesn't need mowing!!), some railway sleepers, maybe a willow ... *sigh* ... bliss...

Beautiful ...

2007-04-05T18:34:00.001+01:00

Thank God some people are capable of seeing other people for what they are, rather than basking in misplaced self-righteous while hiding conveniently behind a religious facade that's made to fit their agenda.

Oooooh ;o)

2007-04-03T17:37:00.000+01:00

I've just been called a 'Liberal Satanist' by one Mr Jones (allegedly) who was too cowardly to accredit his comment with any contact details. LOL. He writes, "By supporting abortion and homosexual actifities you cannot honestly claim the title of Christian, why not be honest and claim the title of Liberal Satanist."

What exactly is a Liberal Satanist? Does it mean I can be a bit flexible on the human sacrifice issue? Or is it perhaps that I don't have to wear black? Perhaps I can add chocolate to my blood cocktails? While we're on it ... what are actifities? There's a cough syrup called 'Actifed' ... is an 'Actifity' someone who uses Actifed, and actifities the plural of that?

I'm glad he felt he had to help me towards self-actualisation. Or would that be confusion? I can't tell.

However, if Mr "Jones" had read the post (which, I know, given his eloquence and spelling, is a bit doubtful), he would have seen that I never once said I support abortion. I simply said it wasn't the greatest threat to face us, and that it wasn't a simple issue. You can't apply a set of absolute values to it, because circumstances can vary greatly - from the person who wants a termination because they're not ready for a baby (which, I think could be reconsidered), and the person who needs a termination to save their life, or because the life and quality of life of the foetus is in danger, to the person who is pregnant by rape. Vastly different cases, that each need to be considered individually.

As for the gay issue, and supporting homosexuals, hear hear. I think they need all the support they can get, surrounded by bigots that discriminate against them simply for being who they are. Perhaps Mr "Jones" is of the ill-informed school of thought that thinks that gay men are - in fact - straight men who decided in a weak moment to start shagging other straight blokes up the arse. That it was entirely a cognitive decision ... a giving in to weakness. LOL!!!

I wonder if he lies awake at night, worrying about whether or not he'll be strong enough to resist that first tender touch from a guy. Don't worry sweetie ... it's not an actual decision. It's just something gay people are. They're born gay, and they can't be anything but gay, because that's what they are, what they were made, and what they were created to be.

Perhaps Mr "Jones" would be more at home in Westboro Baptist Church, who can be seen in this photograph, spreading the good news about Jesus Christ to their community?

Of course, their method of communication is not educated, nor even Biblical, but it's important to let these people busy themselves with simple tasks, such as colouring in bright signs ... it keeps them happy.

Oh, and to another poster, who didn't leave any contact details, other than the name 'Chuck', whose offering to help make me straight ... no thanks. I'm happy just the way I am. I tried that whole 'make you straight' rubbish once ... was the most screwed up 3 years of my life, with people making me feel guilty for being who I was, telling me my parents were to blame for me being gay, and that I just had to unlearn to be me, and then relearn how to be a good little clone. No thanks. It screwed me up big time, until someone had the sense to tell me that I am as I was created to be, and that God loves me just as I am. He doesn't love us when we conform to a set of rules, He loves us as we are.

And there's nothing wrong with being gay. "If it aint broke, don't fix it." Gay people are not 'imperfect', 'broken' or 'outside the divine plan'. Consider, oh "straight" man, what you're implying by saying that gay people are imperfect and a deviation from God's created "norm". Are you suggesting that God makes mistakes? Or, are you suggesting that God is unfair and chooses to produce some people ok, and others all imperfect? Either is blasphemy. Consider, instead that the gay man is as God intended them to be, and that they need to be the best at being who they are, in order to honour their Creator.

I'm so grateful for the enlightenment ... I shall sleep much better tonight. And, for the record, don't expect me to reply to each I'll-help-you-be-just-like-me, or homophobic post. Much less posters that don't have contact details.

Who I would most like to have supper with ...

2007-04-01T12:36:00.000+01:00

Stuey and I went to see Pam Ann live at the Guildhall in Southampton last night (which, naturally, you know, because you read my blog regularly).

I haven't laughed that much in ages (possibly since the last time I saw Pam Ann in Bracknell (memory's a bit sketchy, but maybe 2005). This time, at least I made it to the 'business class' seats ... last time I was in economy class ... LOL.

A complete aside ... That's got me thinking ...
some people think LOL means 'Lots of Love'. It doesn't. It means
Laugh Out Loud. This has gotten me into a few sticky situations with at
least one woman at work ... I mean, can't they spot the rainbow pinky ring
and the pink armband? If that fails, the fact that I use 'fabulous' a lot,
ought to jog the memory. But, as a general guide, it means Laugh out
Loud. It got there first. Lots of Love sounds like a pre-teen girl,
writing notes to her girlfriends ... like that cringe-worthy way they used to
sign their notes back in the 90's ... HOLLAND (Hope Our Love Lasts And Never
Dies). I couldn't point out at the time that the phrase was hopelessly
tautologous (If it lasts, it doesn't die ... if it doesn't die, it lasts ... you
don't need both), because she was a lot bigger and a lot butcher than I
was. Now, where was I ...

Oh yes ... Pam was even better than when I saw her in Bracknell last. Her humour is a lot more risque than I remember (maybe that's just because it's harder to escape out of Bracknell, if you need to do a runner ... bloody roundabouts!). I think her persona is incredible. At one point, she had us in stitches just by sitting down and using facial expressions. I was dying to hang around for an autograph, or to tell her how much I liked the show, but that was a bit random, because I didn't know which exit, what time, and then if the poor girl would even like to chat ... she may have been knackered. Stuey had to be up early, anyway, so we came home. I sent an email to her website, which they may pass on to her ... who knows.

That got me thinking about who I'd love the chance to sit and have a drink/meal & chat with, before I need my food blended to fit through a straw, and someone to fit my incontinence nappies. Pam's definitely right up there. As is another great lady who's touring the U.K. @ the moment ... Dolly Parton. Definitely Carol Burnett (here's a link to a fansite) (sadly, not many of my new friends in the U.K. know who she is ... only those I've told ;o) ). Julie Andrews, definitely. Oooh ... Cher, too. Oh yeah ... and Oprah, Judy Dench, Sandra Bullock & Julia Roberts. LOL ... I haven't listed any men yet ... how can there be any doubt about my sexuality?!

Maybe I need to be more impulsive. I mean, if I want to have a conversation with Dolly & Pam Ann, and they're both in the country @ the moment ... (a) why didn't I wait to chat to Pam after the show, and (b) why didn't I book tickets for Dolly's show and do the same thing? Well, (a) because I'm stupid, (b) because I only found out Dolly was touring when it was too late to see her locally, (c) because I don't earn enough to follow Dolly up North, to catch her U.K. tour, and (d) ... I'm hopeless at prioritising ... I'm a procrastinator. Maybe I'll just befriend some poor kid with a terminal disease and force them to write to the Make-a-wish foundation asking for a personal audience with all of them, and then I'll be kind enough to be their carer for the day and accompany them when they get 'their' wish. LOL. Oh, so very wrong, but so very funny.

Right ... onto Maslow's hierarchy of needs, level 1. I have got to go grocery shopping now (which means that, to not embarrass myself, I should probably go get dressed first). Anyway sweeties ... I need to go to Tesco. If I don't go buy food, I may actually lose some weight, and we can't have that.

Have a gr8 Sunday ...